Everything was
Never
Not
Nothing

As we grow,
We mature.
Our ideas change,
So does our nature.
I don't want to instigate,
As much as I want to love now.
I used to want to rule an empire,
But now I'll settle for common things.
Settle down with my queen,
I'll last forever, if she lets me.

As we grow,
We lose touch.
Of each little thing we know,
Everything we loved so much.
I no longer feel aggression,
The same way I feel peace.
I may be tired,
But I'm just tuckered out,
I've learned to sleep.

My biggest fear:

Is someone knowing all of my biggest fears,
just to use them all against me.

The flowers inside my head eating away
at the decaying thoughts.
I hear them when it’s just quiet enough –
gorging.

Oh Mother, I’m fixing your mistakes.
You and me – made from the same two pillars:
dependency and suffering.

I tear them down
softly, slowly –
shedding what I have seen,
like a snake peeling its skin.

Everything I have ever known,
collapsing around me,
leaving things I have loved covered in ash –
my own Pompeii.

But I’ll make my own way out of
these rotten bricks.
That is my promise to you –
and myself.

the sun sets loud
blood soaks into dark places
       below the horizon

No matter how you view it-
It's all lookings, each perspective.
You grow & you grow & you grow,
But you refuse to germinate.
Don't you know?
You must release your seedlings
If you hope for a root
To be planted.
Can't have too fragile of a barrier,
But neither too hard the shell.
Spread your wings
And do your thing,
Flaunt your laurels.

Id, cognism, ego.

Mind & thoughts, the vault, the passions & ambitions.

The springs, the streams, the rivers.
The atmosphere, the clouds, the rain.
The ocean, the lakes, the puddles.

Feeding into itself, again & again.

It's difficult to explain,
But easy to conceive of,
If you can imagine.

Lungs now constrict as the strength flees my knees
And I drift through the years on antiquities breeze.
Visions so vivid, the present dissolves
Till I’m standing in memories, fully resolved.

I’m drunk in a dorm room, surrounded by friends,
Not knowing I’ll never be with them again.
We revel and toast the delights which await,
Until the dawn breaks and we’re forced through the gates.

Impaled by the arrows of numerous clocks,
I fall through adulthood and beg time to stop.
A day’s now a decade, I’ve nothing to show
For the years that I’ve wasted not chasing my goals.

I stumble through life like a drunken old coot,
To numb to suss out the dregs from the loot.
Scenes spiral out from my blind inner eyes
And dissipate swiftly as dreams become lies.

Snapped back to the present, I stare at a screen
And continue my work as I hear my soul scream