A white feather bird,
Sitting on my grill,
Under the quiet moon,
As the world stands still.

It tilts its head,
Eyes dark yet bright,
Speaking in silence,
In the hush of the night.

"Why are you sad?"
It asks with a sigh,
"Are you afraid?"
As stars fill the sky.

"What do you want?"
Its voice lingers near,
"Is it difficult?"
Soft, yet so clear.

I stare at the bird,
Yet words do not flow,
For how do I answer,
What I barely know?

Slow, quiet mornings,
tears still remain,
Eyes red and heavy from
carrying pain.
Thoughts like a river,
too deep, running wild,
Hard to be strong
when I still feel like a child.

I don’t want much—
just someone to see,
To sit with my silence
and still choose me.
Not to fix all the pieces or
make me pretend,
Just to offer their love
that won’t break or bend.

The contrast is thin as a thread
But stark.

Yet I am confused,
If I am running away,
Or having
A new start.

I wish I could, open up my brain sometimes,
Show everyone what it’s like, they all would say,

“Sure it’s a normal brain, everyone’s the same”

Nah it really isn’t you see, because there is something different with mine, I’d show it to you if you have time?

I might “look” okay but, my brain races,
I might say that I am okay, but within moments,
My brain creates scenario's for a million different things, that dont even exist,

If only you could see it, some days, it’s repaired,
Next, it’s beyond.
I don’t know what to do how the **** am I suppose to respond?

Some days I feel everything,
Others I feel numb,
On top of that,
A voice,
Saying,
Dumb, dumb, dumb.

I'd like to have a single today
Without the thoughts of a yesterday
And one nights worth of restless sleep
With no looming doom of a tomorrow that has a promise to keep

©2025

I forbid myself to love you!
It's unbearable!
It's like I'm tearing myself to pieces,
To shreds at all!
I madly want to be with you!
More than nearer!
But I forbid myself to think of you!
Not at all!

I forbid myself to remember you!
It's torture!
The sunshine in my window at dawn -
It's you!
Without you I maim my Soul!
I **** her!
My days, my dreams, my thoughts are naught
Without you!