I seem to lean
into my shadows, failures and faults.
That ***** too natural
and my downward leaning too easy.

What darkness have I learned?
What sullen seed has
merged into the deeper passages
to transform
into thorns?

Is it my repeated stumblings
or the sin of another
inflicted early
but now forgotten?
Maybe it’s so terrible
my mind has stashed it way way down
now a fungus still alive in the dark?

I feel too at home
dwelling in that cave
and I am in need,
I am sorely in need
of light,
enough lasting exposure
to **** the blight
scorch the itch
and set me leaning
into an upward pitch
to thwart the dark

proclivities.

DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE
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You rebel, i like you.

Sometimes I go too  deep in my writing for others to understand
It's too much for them to take in
I'm not looking for praise
Or for money
But for expression of myself and others
So, they can relate and understand
That some of us go through things that only a dark fantasy can describe
And I'm sorry if its too much

i picked a rose today.
off a bush
that sits underneath
my childhood window.
the thorn poked into my skin.
i watched as the blood started to trickle
down my finger.
i stood there and pondered.
which one holds the most beauty?
the rose that i just picked,
that will be put into a jar and wilt away?
or the blood spewing out of my finger
as a reminder that i’m still alive.

Ones who were friends torn away
Off against you
No longer caring or accepting you
You're on your own
Everyone for themselves
On the battlefield, you've fought your hardest
To be beaten and rendered hopeless  
Right when you break down
When you're on the ground, just not caring anymore
You pray to be shot
You pray to be killed
For you don't even have the strength to end yourself
The worst has already happened
What worse could happen
Please, tell me
Then suddenly, finally, you're hit
Sliced through with a bullet
As you slowly go, flashbacks of the happy faces come to mind
And go as quickly as your life
As you're left there
Alone
At War
You lost the battle
But not you're self

Your teeth are sharp and poison filled
Your tongue is slit
Your eyes are still
As they stare back gleaming in the darkness
Lurking
Waiting...for the ****
When you strike the shadows fall
They mourn of their death
Like the bodies they belonged to
Your venom even intoxicates my soul
Enabling my spirit
Killing off what's left of me
Your venom courses through my blood
Floods to my brain
Burning through my mind
Destroying my body
Until I'm yours
Until I crave your presents
Beg for your poison
Plead for your venom
Your filthy poison
Your venom
To be free from the demise
I destroy myself all together
And finally, I fall to a peaceful rest at your feet
Your venom conjured another innocent soul
What is your next disgustful need?
You sick creature
One day your venom will be the death of you
Venom...