I think I'm always going to be that piece of gum.

Not the one that's a metaphor from Selma, whose all hateful because someone "chewed her up and spit her out". Not the one that got stuck in Mikail's shoe and just added to his already climbing pile of ****. Not the one that got caught accidentally in Isabel's best friend's hair and had to be cut out with scissors and made them trust each other even more.

I mean the one that was offered from that nice girl in school who had a nice backpack and whose name you'll have forgotten long before she's gone.

I'm absolutely terrified of being that piece of gum.
Almost as irrelevant as the girl herself.

I caught you in the corner of my eye.
If only you could read my mind.
The sweet notations I selfishly hold.
I'd like to think that I've caught you.
Displacing myself in every other word you say.
If you've ever noticed my eyes as close as they are now.
The intimacy of being held close.
Secret longing.
The swift pace that eyes move.
Catching you in the corner of my eye.
On the border of each blink.
Temptation, the watering of eyes.
Terrified to close.
Terrified that when they open you'll be gone.
Having to chase and catch you all over again

heart’s heavy like an anvil in my chest
weighing down my entire body and i am filled with a sense of unease and fear
one word repeating it’s self every time i say your name
i’m not i tell myself, i’m not, i can’t be.
this word has turned itself into bullets
piercing my flesh with each mention of it’s cursed syllables
love, love rings a cacophony in my ears
causes a loss of breath and an overflow of tears
am i falling in love? this is what that feels like?
i feel like i a drowning myself in the pacific
my lungs feel heavy and my chest heaves with each gasp for sweet oxygen
constant choke hold, light headed despair
i feel like i’m dying
is that what love is?
i feel like i’m floating
is that what love is?
am i falling in love?
oh god, am i falling in love?
oh god,
i’m falling in love.

I sometimes don't want to talk to people
like everyone just gets so annoying
and I just need some 'me' time
some time alone.

and when you ask to be alone,
people find it rude and they even call you antisocial.

and when you stay amongst people with moody you
they say you're giving them attitude

like what am I supposed to do exactly
what do y'all want exactly?
why is society so freaking confusing and unappreciative
Someone tell me, Someone give me an answer please.

reach out a hand
try and grasp the beams of sun that shine through the window panes
feel the warmth on your skin, soak it all up
fear when the sky goes black, as if a curtain has been pulled over it
hear them call you out, they feast at night
listen to their pleads, their cries, begging for you to come back
try to make yourself visible in the pale moonlight, they can't take you home unless you are surrounded by the darkness
notice as your hands begin to tremble
"i don't want to go back"
watch as bright white dots appear out of nowhere, just like the stars above
close your eyes and tell them you're not afraid of them anymore
try to convince them, try to make them believe the lies you're telling them

open, for it is morning
and the sun feels like heaven on your skin
and you know the night will come soon after
but for now the demons have vanished, and you, you have lived through another fight with the nights sinful ways