Sitting in your car
    Parked outside my house
You had to leave soon
        But, it was so peaceful out
You kissed me so sweetly
           deeply
Then you asked me
     I saw it coming, honestly
Yet, I was still shocked
           And more than a little terrified...
     Mine?  Yours?
Belonging to one another?
        I wasn't sure how this made me feel
     So many doubts and questions,
Running through my mind
             I don't like admitting it
But you're really a rare find
               Honest, sweet and kind
   I'm not sure I feel as strongly as you do
         Cause we both know the past I've been through
     I think I'm gonna try
            For you
But you seriously gotta make an effort too
       I don't wanna do this alone
   I know you're busy
Just pick up the phone
         Make some time for me
You want me to be your girl?
         Then you gotta be my guy
But this whole thing terrifies me
      I'm not gonna lie
I'll NEVER cheat
           I'll stay faithful and true
    But seriously,
That's what you gotta do too...
        So, what's my answer to you?
     First, I have stipulations
I'm not a girl all about big DECLARATIONS
          I'm the poet, I'll do that
     But I gotta know you're with me
          That you got my back...
    I'm not afraid to admit
                 I need attention
       If you can handle that
           And my crazy A$$
   Then I'll be **all yours

hi

beware of getting close to me.

we can be friends for a while,

and then i’ll get attached.

that’s when things get sour

i fall apart thinking about what you think about.

growing close to you is terrifying..

and i can’t quite go with it.

I’m sorry

i’m scared

i’m not good at this.

Can we forget that this existed?

I'm scared
I'm terrified
Petrified.
It's such a constant
           feeling
                        now

Never in my life
      have I felt
      consumed by a
      feeling

My heart beats
      with fear

Each thud
Each dud
       dread.

Quietly it goes
       pumping this
       pain throughout
       my bones.

I am scared.

not many people know what it feels like to cut themselves open in slow motion and feel the blood drops change from raindrops to tidal waves before their very eyes,
that were coincidently dripping too.
similar to the way it felt when my feelings for you started to pour through and all i could do was try to hold them all back and stitch up the cracks before i'd lost too much and fallen too hard, landing in a puddle of red that could very well have been what was left of my broken heart.


↠mndi➣

Can you blame me?
For being terrified?
I walked into this life
Like a lamb to slaughter
Wide-eyed
Innocent
Not knowing the people I trusted
Would put a gun to my head
Look away
And pull the trigger
Then carry my body away
To be ripped apart
And distributed
All the way muttering,
"She's just like the others
Stupid and
Unaware
Of how harsh
Life can really be"

The days go slow and fast
At the same time
College looms at the end
Of the tunnel
Though I'm still not sure if
I'm terrified or excited for the change

I have a girl
I wish I could fall in love with
But I can't forget the fact
That I'm leaving.

I want the summer
To disappear
so I can get to the parties
The adventure
The college girls
The college boys.

I want to leave behind
My bad reputation
My bad relationships
My bad memories...

I want to learn
I want to grow
I want to be wild and crazy
I want to break through
All of my walls I've built

But the days drag by
The more I think about it
And my heart breaks
The more I think of leaving my sister
And I can't decide if I'm terrified
Or excited for the next day to come