we mistake a small cold
for a chronic illness leading to death
we mistake a bad grade
for failed success that leads to a job at McDonald's
we mistake a bad haircut
for a complete unattractiveness that leads to being alone
we mistake an awkward look
for a social downfall in today's botched society
we mistake a bad day, a horrible week, an ugly year
for a permanent lifestyle leading to suicide
the sun will come up
don't end the day before it has finished

If you fall in love with yourself the way you want to be loved
you'll stop letting strangers take refuge in your body
a temporary home for a boy who doesn't care to understand you
If you could look at your reflection and find beauty in the spaces between your teeth
you'll learn lessons in the pieces of your shame
and you'll no longer feel safe in the arms of foreigners
your skin is your sanctuary
short-term visitors are not worthy of resting in it

there is poetry and art and beauty
in a brief exchange of souls and scars
temporary friendships or
lovers who do not extend to infinity
just because it ends it does not mean
the experience is less valid or less real
I am grateful for every experience
the painful and sad moments, too
as they have all created me
as part of my becoming and existence
and they have taught me to appreciate
even more wholeheartedly
the joy others bring to my life

It was past 11
The clock ticks in the night
A rather sad movie plays on the background

Yet for some reason
My eyes were on something else

I had the chance to hear your voice
"I'm too lazy to type. Call me."
You were hesitant
I was anxious

For a moment the distance didn't matter
Our voices softly echoing in our ears
Even just for a second
We let our worlds play by our own little rules

Quivering
The mood was still unsettling
Yet I gave you the assurance
The assurance which I wasn't sure of as well

Things took a turn
Uncertainty turned into bravery
As you've learned that I was in for the same

Same feeling you've wanted
Short-lived
Ephemeral as it may seemed

We were two sides of a coin, you see
My views were far-fetched
Yours stopped halfway

Of what you've yearned which was deemed temporary
Temporary company
Temporary feelings
Temporary memories

I replied
"Why not give it a go?"

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes. That sounds like fun"
Fun
Joy
A moment of spark
Which was bound to die sooner or later

I've always been into commitments
There's always something
About the fidelity
The blinding devotion
Of the faith and trust
That'll mark my ashes forever

Yet here you are
A guarantee in your chuckle
That you'll end up living all alone
One day
Some day
So you just wanted to have a good time
Enjoy while it lasts

We were two sides of a coin, right?
But I saw a path halfway
A path leading to you
It was a garden
Full of roses trying to hide their thorns
This is perhaps
Where we shall meet
As we're about to leave each other's arms before we knew it

You've always yearned of what's deemed temporary, you see

So even just for a moment
a second if you may allow


Even if those feelings weren't genuine enough


Let us fill the air with the scent of love
that would probably stay on your shirt
And will make you smile as you try to look back one day

This was a foolish idea
We both know
As we nervously laugh at how we agreed upon this game
Silently looking for an excuse to run away as the night deeply sighs

I was unsure about everything else
But darling


I wouldn't agree if my feelings weren't true
For I've loved you
Good night

If the only reason why
you break up with me
is because we are
apart.

Then our love wasn’t real at all.

Distance carries
no weight
and love is not for your
convenience.
It is a constant
decision.

We build a life apart
only to build the life
we want
together.

I do
miss you
your touch
and the
smell of your
skin.

I am
jealous of
all the people
who get to
be with you,
to see you,
and not from a screen.

But you
thought we were
temporary
when distance
was only days away.

Love
should’ve been
greater
but for you,
it wasn’t in
your favor.

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

My hands shake
My chest hurts
My heart yearns
I am alone