Remember that summer
when it was dry and heavy
but in the evening
the breeze would gently
sway the smoke
of your cigarette in my hand
when you were trying
to teach me how not to choke

And I remember coughing
and laughing it off with you,
how smoke had always
been around me
but my lungs were funny
'bout this direct approach

And we talked 'bout everything
from heartbreak, to lovers, to family
And I truly felt wonder
at the simplicity of those moments
and how much they meant to me

So much I look back to them now
when it's winter and I'm alone
missing your warmth, your voice
and itching for a smoke

~
Holding court at the Zanzibar,
they looked on good nights
like Egyptian Queens, like Ancient Babylonians.

On not so good nights,
they resembled Brassaï's Moma Bijou -
"fugitives from Baudelaire's bad dreams",
and even then they looked magnificent.

Identity wasn't something you nailed
yourself into in late adolescence.
It was a trick of the light,
and if you were to avoid
burning yourself out,
then you simply let the flames
lick over you
and turned the ashes into kohl.
~

Mist chose to linger a while,
though mild air belied October.

Overwhelmed by birdsong,
loud against the abstract silence
of these adolescent sentinels,
stood like arboretum trees
filled with the gravitas
of no age, no age at all.

The year passed as always
with them growing taller,
bolder, a little more aware
of wisdom’s cost
and the one they lost.

Deep sleeping delta breathing
Breath of subtle water air
Salivating in mid summer airs-
Night view on the dark pavement.
Hands on it feeling upward rising
Warmth. Gazing up at the sun
Red, Pink, Orange and Blue coalescing infinitely.
The Sky Earth Action in my memories
m e m o r i e s

We're kids- all of us.
Then,
why do we force each other to grow up?

We never got to be teenagers together,
because by that time, I was gone.
I needed to be, or I would have been forever
but leaving you behind was painful.

You bullied me, but I held faith that it was just you being a kid.

But we never got to be teenagers,
doing the simple things like sitting next to eachother on the sofa
I wanted to be there after your first kiss, to gossip over boys.
I want to share a drink, a joint, a tattoo, with you.

I do miss everyday...

We never even got to be kids..

Excitement trembles
Coursing through tiny veins
Until the day arrives
For the fun to begin

Sweet high school memories
Riding in the backseat
One friend at the wheel
The other in the passenger side
Calm, rippling breeze

Smooth leather seats
Music for every mile
Never a dull moment

Places to go
Adventures to be had
Traveling arm in arm
Across the sandy stone
Over the curious cliffs
To see the wondrous waves
Crash against a well-worn shore

Together we go
Together we see
Here, in this time,
We are free

We are adventurers
Going places one or the others
Haven't been before
Breathing in the salty sea
Content as the sea lions
Basking in the evening glow

Walking the narrow dirt path
Happy as we can be
Sun gently upon our backs
Legs tired as we collapse
Back into the comfort of the car

The day almost at it's end
Making a turn, just around the bend
One dropped safely home
Just a bit longer until it's my turn

Talk of life
Of the past and possibility
And of the future
Getting used to things that just might be
One day I could be behind the wheel
Now that's a thought
That's just so real

Thank you,
My dearest friends
One like a little sibling
The other like an older brother
They are my family
My family of soul

Five, ten years from now
I'll remember how
We rode the day away
On our own little adventure
Just us high school kids

- Jay M
October 19th, 2020