My Stupid heart okay ...
I love you everyday ...
I wanna hug alright ...
I miss you everyday ...

Stupid heart , it screams ...
It need some ice cream ....
But sitting all alone ...
Just waiting for phone ....

Alright .... **** it ... I miss last line

I veil the truth behind a calculated smile,
Knowing not every touch bridges the divide.
Some hands arrive with grace, tender and light,
While others leave shadows where trust takes flight.

I've learned to guard when candor brings pain,
My words once pure, now filtered through strain.
I mistook their wounds for love's deep disguise,
Their kindness—a precipice draped in lies.

They danced to rhythms etched on shattered bone,
Choreographing betrayal in each measured tone.
I traced their faltering steps with bleeding pride,
Mapping the terrain where connection died.

The melody I cherished—now fractured, wild—
Echoes of harmony brutally exiled.
My voice, once vibrant, now bleeds translucent white,
Drained of warmth by their relentless might.

I painted my face pristine as untouched snow,
A delicate illusion few would know.
Transparent as crystal, brittle and cold,
Where others bring warmth, I slowly unfold.

Vulnerability approaches—a razor's keen edge,
Threatening to shatter my carefully built hedge.
I retreat into silence, a landscape unnamed,
Where emotional boundaries remain unclaimed.

When fear eclipsed my wavering trust's last light,
I befriended the quiet that dwells in the night.
My soul—once a stranger—now whispers soft art,
Healing the fractures deep within my heart.

Gentle as breath, profound as midnight's embrace,
My soul murmurs wisdom beyond surface's trace:
Here are spirits waiting, raw and unbound and bright,
Where true connection breathes its most vulnerable might.

In my little world, you appeared in shades of blue,
A silhouette soft as morning's tender hue.
Beside me, your door—a whisper, untold,
Where curiosity and silence began to unfold.

Your room hummed with secrets beyond my reach,
Each passing moment a lesson love would teach.
I longed to knock, to breathe your name,
But fear held fast, a flickering flame.

What if your silence turned my heart to stone,
Where love’s soft whisper dies alone?
What if the courage I failed to show
Became the absence that haunts me so?

Time passed, and our doors became distant shores,
A hallway stretching to endless floors.
Each step a struggle, each breath a plea,
Yet hope burned on—a lantern in me.

I climbed through shadows of what might have been,
Not measured in steps, but the ache within.
The staircase rose beyond the light,
My heart ascending through endless night.

Behind that door, a world remained,
Of joys unspoken and sorrows unnamed.
I pressed my palm to the weathered grain,
Longing to know both love and pain.

When tears traced rivers behind your door,
I wished to knock, to heal you more.
When joy would whisper through thin-worn walls,
I wished to knock, to bring you flowers tall.

Through endless stairs, my hope still grew,
Clutching petals kissed with dew.
I stood before the dream we made,
And knocked—though hands still shook, afraid.

But fate unlatched that fragile frame,
Another's smile eclipsed my claim.
The flowers fell, their petals strewn,
A love unspoken, lost too soon.

I let go of the colors you once defined,
Falling like watercolor blurred by time.
Descending stairs where laughter stayed,
While silence whispered what I delayed.

Perhaps you left the door ajar,
Waiting for a touch that stayed afar.
My hesitation—a mountain tall,
Higher than the steps I dared to fall.

Now I know your name like a ghost knows its room,
You know only the fragrance of wilting blooms—
Petals scattered like moments we never claimed,
A story of connection, forever unnamed.

In a garden touched by morning's light,
Butterflies dance, a wondrous sight,
Each one precious, brave and free,
Bringing colors for all to see.

Some wings carry shadows past,
But their spirit shines to last,
Between roses and swaying trees,
They float upon the gentle breeze.

Watch them soar to touch the sky,
Each flutter shows their strength to fly,
Through storms they've found their way to peace,
Their beauty now shall never cease.

In this safe and sacred space,
They move with gentle, touching grace,
Every wing that dares to rise
Tells stories of sweet butterflies.

So let us guard this garden fair,
Where healing blooms in morning air,
For every butterfly should know
A safe place where their wings can grow.

I haven't walked this road for a long time,
But I’ve been watching headlights in the night.
My thumb’s been out for almost fifteen years now,
hoping someone gives a ride

Boots worn thin on the shoulder of the highway,
Every step feels heavier over time
Wind hums low through the cracks in my jacket,
But I keep moving, just to ease my mind.

Feels like eternity on the road of life,
No map, no signs, just the rolling sky.
But if the stars still shine, I’ll be alright,
Keep on walking, keep my fire alive.

I’ve seen towns rise, I’ve seen ‘em fall,
Faces change but the stories stay the same.
Some folks run, some folks stand up tall,
Some just cry in the pouring rain.

Feels like eternity on the road of life,
No map, no signs, just the rolling sky.
But if the stars still shine, I’ll be alright,
Keep on walking, keep my fire alive

Maybe there's a car that’s bound to stop,
Or maybe I was meant to walk.
I haven't walked this road for a long time,
But I keep my eyes on the distant light.
My thumb’s still out, but my heart keeps beating,
And I know someday I’ll find my ride.

Keeping the promise we never made,
Sitting behind this wall of regrets.
The day dot not last!

But now that I've grown,
I've realized.
The dome protected me from harsh winds,
For the crude winds bring death to the candle.

But now that I've grown,
I've realized.
I'm getting weary of this dome,
Suffocating me to death and yet not,
Why chain my wings?
Why not clip it;cage the wind too.

But now that I've grown,
I've realized.
Being caged for almost 18 years
Since for a very long time, my wings chained,
I can't fly the highest nor the longest,
Neither can be the fastest nor the best.
But should it be for the best not to taste freedom?
Inside this dome, the day dot not last.

But now that I've grown,
I've realized.
The dark night that i so detest for its eerie,
Becomes the one who validate me.
It's silence, embracing me in her chilled breast.
In solitude
Giving me a bereft yet a tranquil feeling.
Perhaps this is the only freedom I get.

I can see it in your eyes
the disgust you have for me
but I won't stop loving you,
even when you tell me lies and promises are long forgotten
will you tell me stories and make funny faces when I reveal the truth that you have been trying so long to uncover
No.
I don't love when you say the word "Husband"
but do you ever wonder why
I wouldn't say I hate men when you remind me of my brothers
but can you remind me of that picture in my memories -
a man looking at an 8 year old me in a skirt jumping high and happy
while I play with my jump rope and pleasuring himself?
Do you want me to surrender to my hateful memories of men I have met.
Won't you stop spitting words of hate towards people of the same gender kissing
would you do that to me?
Will you still love me
just like I love you
Mom

You make me feel:
Content
Passion
Comfort
Happy
Loved
Alive
Safe
Real
Here
Se­en
Free

But I don’t know you yet.
We haven’t met.
So I haven’t felt these
Things I can only name.

Because

I don’t know the sound of your voice,
The sound of your laugh,
Or the sound of your cry.

Because

I don’t know your eyes.
I don’t know your smile.
I don’t know who you are.

But I do know I’ll meet you someday.
Let it be with a boom
Or a quiet phrase.

And then, I can finally feel:
Content
Passion
Comfort
Happy
Loved
Alive
Safe
Real
Here

I wanna die, wanna quit, won’t you stop at my limit?
Tough it up, stick it out, take a hit and cower down
Wanna drown, wanna sink, mind’s so foggy I can’t think
I lie and steal and sneak and fake, and worst of all,  I manipulate
I’m just like you, can’t you see? I’m everything you wished for me
Make you happy? Make you proud? I couldn’t do it, kick me out
I can’t stay, but I can’t leave, I just can’t seem to get away
Flip the script, turn the tables, happy endings are just for fables
Not good enough, ask me why? It's not because I don’t ******* try
You tell me to change yet I stay the same, you try to guilt me, cause me shame
When I scream, the sound is gone, because no one seems to catch on
I’m shaking, burning, my life in flames, I feel like ruining me is your aim
Between my knees, my head hangs low, the weight of the trauma you bestow
When I cry, you see red, your blindness to it left unsaid
I scream, I shake, I shout out loud, but your yelling always drowns me out
In my mind, I beg you to listen, but I cannot talk without opposition
In your eyes, there's no recognition, it forces me to start demolition
Destroying my body, my mind, my soul, my sense of worth long gone in a hole
When you speak, I dully obey, but never enough, to my dismay
I’m the bad one, sneaky, conniving, dying while everyone else is thriving
Lying awake, in my bed, just to make sure there’s nothing said
If I close my eyes, I’ll wake too fast, and nothing else will take me back
To my sleep, where I’m peaceful at last
You walk past, what have I become? waiting for a blow that’s bound to come
I sink, I drown, I gasp for breath, reaching for all that I have left
Right behind me, there's a Past, one that wasn’t meant to come back
When I leave, I’ll be the Past, the one that’s not ever coming back
You’ll moan and gripe and whine and complain, but I tell you, it's all in vain
Am I meant to read your mind? What you want is never clearly outlined
You love the ones close to you, but you don’t see anything wrong with what you do
When you’re happy, times are good; we laugh and smile, all is well
The sun will shine, the birds will sing, and for a moment, we’ll forget the sting

The internet could have freed us.

Now we know for sure it doesn't need us.
Endless babbling repeated tropes.
Posted by morons and losers and brain dead teen aged dopes.
Vacuous and vague , nothing said nothing heard.
Not a thought nothing original
not a word.