And that day,
I said I'd be back.
So i buttoned my coat, and grabbed my hat.
And I said tomorrow we'll go,
So don't be frownin no mo'.

Tomorrow never came and neither did the next,
No calendar date marked by accidents.

If I told you every time I thought about you would you think I was weird? Would you think it was strange?

I don't know what it is about you that makes me go insane but I think about you constantly spinning me around smiling gazing all while the rest of the world isn't invited into our secret conversations.

I could Love you. I could get used to this but you are a fleeing moment that will soon be a memory.

They grab a leg
and shake...
and shake.
They grab a arm,
because I don't-
feel the harm.
They grab my hair,
my fingers,
my toes,
my eyes,
my ears,
my heart,
my nose.
One by one
each piece goes.
Before I can breathe
they've stolen my breath.
They pick apart all I have,
and I ask,"is this death?"
Death so empty,
yet I feel peace when alone.
All those years I cried for someone,
but I feel so shaken;
so happy on my own.
Let my sharing freeze over,
that someday it plop and rot,
to see their grand expressions,
will they still care or will they not?
I've given all I have,
I've said goodbye to all I love.
They've looted me entirely,
do they yet have enough?

The library is silent
Only these books can speak
But we have no time to listen
What perfect irony
To be trapped so long
Amidst these fading storytellers
And never hear them speak

I love you.
I mean not just you.
I love a lot of people, a lot of things, concepts, etc.
But anyway.
I love you.
Notice I'm not saying I'm in love with you, because that's different.

And I realize and I know.
Not many people feel it like me.
Some days I think my purpose is to give as much as I can and get nothing in return.
I am simply made to feel empty and alone, no matter what.
That's no one's fault but my own.

See, if I could help it, I wouldn't love you.
My love, my affection, my thoughts, my feelings, ****, even my presence is wasted on you.
You couldn't care less what or where I am.
Who I'm  with, who I'm *******, what I feel.
But, I can't hate you for giving me feelings.

It's not YOUR fault I'm like this.
I know I know I know.
But it doesn't help that you nurture my feelings.
When you touch me like you might care.
Like holding my hand in dark rooms. Like kissing me softly.
But you don't care. At least not sober.

I am constantly bending over backwards for anyone.
Even a stranger.
I want to make everyone happy.
I want to help people.
But I can never do it for myself.

I was hollow
And you filled me with sunshine
That I thought was going to stay mine.
But someone else now
Is demanding it.
And you're emptying me of it.
Life is giving and taking.


F.Z.N

Floating through my friends body.
Say you need me.
Come inside, my angry friend.
Say you love me.
Sit beside me and remind me why we are here.
You.
Are you here for anything I can help you with-
  are you here because I let you in-
      because there is no where else to go-
          for some unreachable goal-
              who are you now-
                   -then-
Guitar strings strummed - slammed.
No sound, just strings. Playing hard. Pressing chords. muted.
Pick that note. Dropping it is just as easy.
   Easy is like a *****-
      giving, taking, faking, *******, freeing, fleeing-
          baby girl, you've been down before-
              down on your knees
                   -deep-
Throat is sore.

All is calm.
relaxing and re-energizing in the sun.
enjoying the sweet sugar-rich liquid.
With no time to spare,
Enemies zoom by in a flash!
Faster than a bullet
But still able to see its distinct wings.
Flying over again,
Dive bombing, trying to take over.
Both take off into the air soaring all around!
whizzing faster than the speed of light!
Racing high up to the heavens
then plunging to the ground at full force!
but able to pull back at the last second!
gliding swiftly across earth.
shrieks condescend between the two!
As they fight flying over the land
They don't even notice what has happened.
another hummingbird lands
and enjoys the sweet victorious nectar.