your "friends" that we meet,
i forget their names,
my calloused palms are greased,
by their  squeezing hands

i remember one's a banker,
or he could have said a thief,
his ******* words were flanked,
by my misbelief

i was held hostage,
you were a smiling drone,
i remember when i lost
to Stockholm Syndrome

their Heirloom Suffix changes,
on tuxedos and trust funds,
my rental wears just fine,
i'm not the danger

shorting stocks on tuesday,
while playing ball in hand,
what a shame to lose me,
busted seams this man

I am not a banker,
I am not a saint,
I cannot to be trusted,
I won't place the blame.
I am not a proxy,
I am an astronaut,
But this distant world you live on,
Is far from my plot

Her broken boy-blue begins to beat again.
Blood flows foolishly to a love that's long gone,
but as the dark night nears dawn,
beauty shines upon the beast.
Rhythm he remembers; proof he's not ceased.

As the feeling flushes through, he's back to loving you.
Your broken boy-blue breaks again, just like new.

I twitch
I shout
Without thinking
I move
I make noise

I don’t have any control

I ****
I yelp
Without thinking
I flick
I whimper

I never had control

I jump
I yell
Without thinking
I twist
I scream

I’ll never have control

In the beginning  it was all fun and games

It was nice to have you caring for me

The next time it happened you left me behind

I didn't care, I was feeling just fine

When I noticed it was getting out of my control

I decided I should probably stop

As hard as I could, I tried to end what you begun

As hard as I could, I just couldn't do

It was eating me from the inside out

I hated but thanked you for proving me weak.



I thought I could fight it, I can't without him

And now that he's left, there's a hole in my chest

I've tried to fill it with all I could think

His presence was just too big for me to succeed

What I thought was right was just making me numb

Now that he's gone I found out

I need him more than before



"I'll see you

In another life"

That's all you said when you left me that night

I was too proud to admit what it was

You were my drug

And once you were gone

All the symptoms showed up



Trying to replace one thing with another

Easier said than done

But I see a light at the end of this road

I thought I'd lost you

But perhaps I didn't

I know how to see you again

I'll just trace back all your steps

I will, too, leave my everything behind

But not really

Since you're all I want

When I go in search of meaning
I go blind instantly
so the search never begins
until I can ***** my way out  
into daylight where
I can see the sun shining &
staring like a fool
I'm blinded once again---
& if at night, I see the full moon
over dark streets  
hidden by a sheet of black
& I'm blinded once again &
w/o looking for anything
I ***** my way back to
where I can't find the switch
& so sit & ask myself
what does it mean to stand or to sit

The boy smiled
The girl flinches
As if the smile would disappear
She crossed
Fearing the bridge would collapse
She hesitated

...Took a breathe

Then looked again...

He disappeared
She lingered