I thought I hit the bottom when you first left
When I cried for hours
For days
Sobbing to fill the empty space you left
Like the ocean growing between us
But what if I’m just stuck in that ocean
For I have not moved on
But I have not moved back either
What if I’m just floating in the in between
In limbo between loving you
And getting over you
Something I don’t aspire to ever achieve
Because a world where I know longer love you
Is not a place I desire to live
So what do I do now
Here in this ocean void of you
How do I move on
Because I don’t want to
And I’m starting to forget how to swim

swim
through the dim
      abyss of the ocean's blue water
      to become a daughter
                  of the violent and quiet sea.

dive
through cold knives
      as your body submits to the waves,
      you must let yourself cave
                  to the water's hypnotic sway.

trade,
for green jade
      scales to cover your ivory legs.
      no longer will your wade
                  in the shoreline's shallow waters.

dance
with the chance
      of happiness running through your mind
      and you will learn, in time,
                  in order to swim you must drown.

the rain was just a drizzle
like my feelings any more
as we stood in awkward chat
and you can't find me any more.
not in here, at least,
in a quasi-happy fete,
with celebrations halted
because they make you fret.
I can't see my heart to give it
for it's always given back
and we'll stand in smoke and raindrops
with me turning myself black.
the black;
it can't reflect the light
so you'll perhaps not see
that my eyes have turned away
and my heart it didn't stay
and the part you have
is just the surface-me.
I won't let go, or let you in,
not again.
you'll only get the drizzle
not the swim.

This isn't easy.
Feeling isn't something familiar to me, yet I'm standing in the center of a broken dam.
Water rushing over me and flipping me from side to side.
I'm suffocating with a grin on my face.
Only so you don't ask if I ever learned to swim.
Of course I have.
No. No, I've never even let the tide kiss my toes.
I breathe in to let the air in my lungs be replaced with this unfamiliarity.
But I'll be ok.

Coloured pebbles underneath
Violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red
Just like the rainbow rhyme
Four cute little lives swimming above them
One in orange, plump just like the fruit
Another in orange, lean as a carrot
One in black, just like the night
And one in orange and white, just like the morning light
New to us and we new to them
Lying at a corner, swimming around their small world wrapped in a glass bowl
Grandma's gift for your upcoming birthday
A fish bowl

There's a girl in my bathtub
I can see her dancing on the surface of the water
Her eyes glinting in the florescent bathroom lights
She and I have a lot in common
The same cropped hair and scars,
Crisscrossing our bodies like little train tracks
She shivers as the water pours into the tub
Hot rain falling from the faucet
I watch her beneath the surface
And I wonder if she is drowning

Life is like swimming in a large body of water,
and being a little more than halfway done,
you get tired and weary but it's more dangerous to turn around,
you gotta find the strength to push on and make it to the other side,
we could turn back and go to the same old ties and same life,
but if we push on and work hard we will make it to a new opportunity.

Do not give up,
push on through,
fight the good fight,
we must continue to finish.

It's cold.
Everything's distorted,
And I can't breathe.
I'm fighting,
Struggling to move,
Then it's freezing.
My eyes sting,
I gasp for breath,
But everything becomes crisp and clear.
The waterfall is pulling me in
As I drift around the pool of blue.
I'm moving closer and closer
Then I'm suddenly under.
It's all white and everything's moving so fast
I'm being crushed
And I'm so scared
I'm never going to escape
I can't breathe
I don't know what to do
Then it all stops.
I'm floating again.
Drifting along a cool cushion.
I can see,
I can breathe.
Everything's okay.