the more I push, the more I pull
I play smart but you made me a fool
the more I swim, the deeper I drown
I lost myself but it's you I found

falling hurts but it's the best part
you destroyed my walls with a single dart
baby won't you just walk away
before I beg and bribe you to stay?

dear Lord, I do not want to love again
but somehow with you, it quitely begins

My emotions
Are like the waves of the ocean
Forever turning
Forever burning
Sometimes I'm riding high
Sometimes I can almost touch the sky
Sometimes they drag me to the depths
Sometimes I just can't catch my breath
I tumble to and fro
Just like the frothy foam
That washes upon the shore
It's all a deafening roar
Some days I do my best to swim
Even with the circling sharks fins
But today is a day i think I'll sink
I'm way beneath the brink
I'm to exhausted, I think I'm done
Tired of living under the gun

It was just fuel added to the fire,
a burning sensation throughout my soul appears.
Once a pure heart of gold,
now slowly turns back to a dark, black heart.
And the mind which believed again,
soon relinquishes back to it's corner.

And on the brink of the breaking point,
you live and learn.
And people come and go,
and someone will come and fix you,
To only leave you more broken than before.
You learn that you can't trust anyone, anymore.

And that's just how society works,
because the cold truth is you can only rely on yourself.
If you give someone the pleasure of being your only
spark of hope, they take it and they crush it,
and leave you with your back against the wall
and bloodshot red eyes,
and tears streaming down your face at three in the morning,
and you're whispering to yourself "why?"

And you start to doubt your worth and purpose all over again,
and soon the walls will feel like they're caving in,
and your lungs will feel like they're closing up,
and your breathe will start to run short,
and the waves will start to collapse over you.
And in the end you have two options, do you sink or swim?

Floating out in infinite space
Far above the sadistic human race
Drifting in the cosmic flow
No knowing which way I'll go
But I'll be free
As the galaxies

Way past Neptune
Out in space I'll be immune
From sadness and corruption
Way out there, there will be no interruption
From my happy thoughts
From all I forgot

I'll keep on sailing through all the galaxies
I'll do as I please
I'll dive into the stars
Resurface by Mars
Backstroke through the cosmos
I will swim to the utmost

Will I come back
To feeling like I lack
I doubt it
Not without a fit
A fight
Till this world fits right
Till then
You find me on a heavenly wind
I might never come back again
Unless it's on a whim

I’ll plunge into placid vacuity
and swim among the stars
in search of your abiding eyes.

Firefly a glowing light in the dark
Embodied in the ray of the rainbow
I see your radiance striking beauty
A shadow succulently saccharine
My tears flows to shed your pain and sorrow
Fear hints and hears, questions of why arises
Who bore them, those with haunted hate?
Do they ail with a sore inside their souls?
For they carry a cargo, loaded with misery
Swim afloat, for they love to see you sunk
Smile along, for their ties want you sad
Love along, for they will drown in hate
Come to life firefly, glow in the dark grow

If you keep madly fighting
The oceans of your sadness,
Then simply your hatred
Will drive you to madness.
So I beg you to breathe.
With calm, in and out.
Know that I won't leave,
Trust that without doubt.
Hold on to that fact,
And never give in.
Don't thrash and drown in the waves.
Instead, just learn how to swim.

My feet were paddling in the shallow ebbs
Of depression, I was poised on the edge.
But I could feel the waters surrounding
My being, and I was submerged in all.

I was immersed in sorrowful deliberation,
Where only parts were consumed now
All was submerged in tempered angst.
I was drowning slowly within myself.

When their is only darkness there is
Always a shadow of light lingering
Deep inward. Within some it is submerged
To deep to grasp a faint echo of hope.

For those who embrace that flicker of
Cleansing aspiration, the shores beckon
Once again. though their feet still wade
In the shallow edges but they are alive.

*"Even in darkness there is a glimmer to hold onto,

the voices scratch at the paint work
Of my soul, these voice howling
in my mind gazing at the stars of
Confusion above my head.

Can a thought swim in tongues
Of obscuring waves, sink or swim
With no buoyancy as voices pull
At my body and at my mind.

I walk on puzzlement, shards of
Thought bleed under foot. I read
My last moments of sanity as they
Evaporate and all now I have left.