We are escaping. One, two, three, four of us. We are escaping from a shabby, ill insulated trailer home dressed for the 70's. It's poo brown **** carpets and dilapidated yellow wallpaper is behind us, finally. Here we are in brisk mountain air looking over and smiling at one another as we soar down the slopes on our skis. I smile to my right - all the while giggling at our oddly fitted goggles and red, wind whipped noses. I feel completely in control. The other three zip past me and down the slopes. I see them make it to our destination: A nice, contemporary and cozy cottage; but I take my time. I'm moving freely and side to side, wearing a smile as wide as my head. I approach the destination to meet the other three. All too suddenly, rather than coming to a nice stop, I realize that I am approaching a ski jump instead. With out enough time to stop myself, I decide to position my self so that I land in the pond that sits slightly to left of the jump. I hit the jump and soar in the shallowest sky, close my eyes and brace myself for the coldest water my body has no desire of sensing. I become enveloped in liquid warmth just seconds later. It's the most surprising embrace and I almost choose not to leave. But I remerge with my goggles missing and I watch the steam rise from the water in all directions. Asfter I wade to the edge of the pond, I pick up my heavy, saturated body and drag it onto the snow, smiling and unaffected by the cold, wet earth beneath me.

when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?

A knife swims in the eery air
bursting down
smearing the few fawn
crooked'em crotales
springing drops of meltdown sun
God hollows
and shadow balloting follows

The Race….by Jessie 11/05

Once I was a tadpole, swimming very fast
I knew that if I didn’t swim, my life just wouldn’t last
I swam with all my energy
I swam with all my might
I swam with every ounce I had
That one romantic night
I beat out all the others, I did it all in style
I beat out all the millions, just to make a child
So… from a tadpole I did grow, into this man I am
A metamorphic wonderment… in front of you I stand

Time is a human construct.
It will spill numbers on the floor,
Whilst it slips its fragile hands around your throat.
Choking you out,
Until breathing becomes more of a chore than reality.
Until it feels like you’re drowning from the carbon dioxide swimming in your veins.

The clock is the home that stutters away when you get to close.
It’s the boy who tells you he loves you,
And then never calls.
It’s the sound of your ribs snapping in half,
Simultaneously filling your lungs with ambrosia.
So that when you take your final breath,
Time will be there to remind you that no matter what,
You were never ******* enough nor ever really there.

Time is the intruder that breaks in
Steals your youth, your drive, your ******* life.
Erasing you slowly,
As I’ve done to every minute since I saw the universe in your eyes.

But, god, what would we do without time,
How would we subsist without measuring cosmos in our hands?
How am I supposed to live without the warmth of your body next to mine?

Swim up, don't drown!  
submerged in unconscious waters sitting on the oceans floor
hoping for flowers to grow, waters surround even more.  I tired myself out, I thought about floating away.

swim up, don't drown!
know I'll never drown
I learn to swim first
like they taught us when we were kids
diving to adventure first
learning to swim later

Swim up, don't drown!
flowers need the sun to grow
part of the growth
ocean of emotion
challenges everything
It wants strength, it sees bravery, it just needs a little hope.
sun reflects on this ocean floor
for it knows flowers have never grown here before

Swim up, don't drown.
Flowers need sunshine to bloom
Not a place like the oceans floor,
look up with your flowers , rise to the sun above.

''Are you ready for the future''
are you ready for things to change
for loss and gain
Because I am not,
but even being ready for the future doesn't make it not come

She wanted more,
more than she was able to have.

She wasn't happy with herself,
she wanted to be part of their world.

Swimming wasn't enough.

Oh how she wanted to walk,
to walk away from all of her problems.

The people she let down.
The disappointment.

She was scared.
Scared that she'll never be as good as she was,
a long time ago,
in a place almost distant.

She changed.

She lost her voice.
Her motivation.
Her desire.

She wanted to be happy Again.
She had lost her world and everything important.

She wanted to go back
to her previous home.

She jsut wanted to swim
and be happy
with little disappointment.

It was fear that held her back.