I'm not a writer
Gathering marvellous words
Spreading healing poems

I'm a fighter
Trying to survive
Avoiding bad omens

What have I done?
To be treated like dirt in your eyes.
Always under the gun.
Constantly being vandalized.
Forever on the run.

Run Race Horse Run
The shows only just begun.
What goods a race horse that's not any fun?
Show me your teeth like a good one.

You want to tame me,
But I was born to be wild and free.
Not in a dudgeon.

How can I fall asleep when I have nothing to look forward to tomorrow?
I'm the walking dead drowning in my own sorrow.
When will this nightmare end? I'm sick of pretending everything's all good.
Maybe when I wished for an interesting life I misunderstood.
  I've been counting my blessings for so long. Nothings changed, I'm growing weary. It's draining me to be strong. This pain in my chest never leaves. I wonder if it,ll ever leave? I used to be happy. Now I'm questioning everything I believe. I fake a smile as I'm close to tears, I'm screaming but nobody hears.

   You've left me stranded in the dark, not knowing where to turn. Thought I could depend on you. The memory of you is now burned. I've been wandering the same road for so long. Searching for rest and a place to call my own. My body's tired from the weight of everything I'm carrying. The sun now slowly rising, mesmerized my eyes are open and that I'm still conscious. Walking on in the bright horizon.
    A new day has just begun and it's time for me to swallow my pride and go on with the show. Even if I'm hurting from head to toe. Been climbing this mountain for so long. Fighting to make it over without falling back down. I haven't truly lived in a while, for as long as I can remember its only been survival. Been trapped in this precipice which felt like forever, until along came September...

   Finally something to hold onto. It felt like eternity since I've had some normalcy like waking in a bed. How I missed the feeling of a place to rest my head. Everything seemed better until your malicious endeavors made it hard to breathe. I would ask myself every night as I cried myself to sleep, when will there finally be peace?
   Trying to move ahead is easier said than done. I end up feeling stuck instead. Your words cut me like a knife. You've made it clear you'll always be number one and I'll always be next to none...

It sounded like a gunshot
Ripping through an open door
I never know what I want
But I've never wanted something more

Don't take me as an insult
Lying on my bedroom floor
Life sounds so simple
Treat me like a mind explored

I hate myself
And I just want to feel alive
I found out all I find
Dies just the same in time

It sounded like a gunshot
Bleeding out for a taste of fun
The wound is looking red hot
I am waiting here for anyone

To survive
Who will make it out alive?

I survived
And now I feel so lonely

Ha

Surprise, its me again
Full frontal, coming up again
Stripping out your mind
You all look just the same
Take your time
How'd you like a name?

Just survive, and you can have it

i dreamed a pair of arctic eyes that are
so burdened i mistook them as mine
violet frost fingertips caught in time
shackle the withdrawn soul for his ****** crimes
i didn't know who it was
the corner of my eyes darkened in a way i don't recognize
but *******, when my heart would've leapt
i decided to tie it instead
like a beast that is fed
with leftovers and lifetime debts
i discouraged the feeling of staying alive
not long after their blows left me on the brink of defiance or
just waiting
to die

i tamed my heart, pray it won't be naive
because for some reason, that man in my dream
was too late before he realized
when they beat you and you scream in pain
you mustn't be the one to apologize

but for this i want to say sorry -
i'm sorry for befriending my demons enough to know my way
around this hell
and survive

What compels one to believe
That they must seek permission to feel free
To express themselves openly
When neither does any person own the worlds
Nor do they have any right over you.

And as the soul reacts to the
Colours that you paint it
And as the soul emits a cry of agony
The swirling walls seeping into its body
It reaches out
On a two dimensional plane
Laid bare with the souls of all, strewn
In whatever manner each soul can take
Because each soul has its due
And each soul must use
Whatever it can to survive.

I'm lost, the road in front split in two
So little time, with so much to do
The woods around me, is so dark
Each thorn I touch, leaves its mark
I grow tired, with each step I take
"Next time", I think, "my mind will break"
Every day, strangely, I survive
Each accident and problem, leaving me alive
How much longer, will it take?
How many sacrifices, will I have to make?