I'm a man who is not alive,
Yet I could speak like one.
I'm a man who still breath,
Yet my heart doesn't beats.
I'm a man with a smile on face,
Which probably never fades,
I'm a Man who can cry a day long,
Yet my eyes aren't wet like a rainy day.
I'm a man who can fly high they say,
Yet I don't have wings they lied.
I'm a man who lost in the sea,
Yet I don't need a shore to survive.
I'm a man who has sleepless nights,
Yet see my eyes they aren't tired.
I'm a man of love,
Yet I don't have one.

They say that the average heart beats between 60-100 beats per minute.
But when I see you, it's so much more than that.
My heart beats so fast it feels like I'm about to have a heart attack.
But if a heart attack is the only way for me to feel your love,
If this is what it takes,
Then I'll just let it be.

You turn on the music,
The tv,
And the radio;
To scare the silence away.
You’re scared that it will separate you from you.

You cling to the fear like a dying atheist,
Unsure what there is to come.
You are too busy living as a child,
And an old man.
You are running away from you.

You are being chased by your ghost,
Followed by the echo of the future and the past.
Body degrading in a crypt,
Below your carpet.
The smell wreaks of the death of you.

The vacuum of your mind is ******* you in.
You ask the person in the pool,
“Where is the person I recognize?”
The person asks the question too.
Your thoughts have become you.

Terrified of the life I live,
Looking for a way out.
I’m forgetting how to live.

As I try to find my way,
To the life I seek to claim,
I’m forgetting how to live.

One said once,
That the empty mind is the rival of God.
At this point I want to believe that it's not.
Preoccupied. My mind, I'm paranoid.

A pit in me, depressed, my anxiety.
A million times I've been asked,
Can you read minds?
I wish now, I could say yes.

For the longest time,
It felt as her mind was moulded with mine.
For the longest time,
I felt I could keep the devil in line.

Now though, I stare him in the face,
I see his menacing smile.

Heat made home in my psyche.
He's shares my soul, he's right beside me.

He sees me write these lines.
Knows what I'm trying to find.
Exactly what I look for, he's managed to hide.

Forever, I thought my mind my strength,
What if, with his help, it becomes my demise?

Self doubt, respect. Rejection and unclear sight.
All these things I'm struggling with,
Though I continue to fight.

I fight because I know I must,
There seems to be no light,
Darkness within,
Has my flame finally found it's cold night?

Questions I can't answer.
Not now. Not today.

My hope is now, I know all that I've lost,
Remember, some time ago I lived without.

There are things that you just wanna ignore
Never come back to
Forget
But their remains never leave
They're here to make a scene
To torment you in your sleep
To haunt you in your day
To stay
And you fight
Every ****** day you're alive
You fight
You put on a smile
You work you study you love you laugh
And you live
Some people don't, but you do
Because that's how it is.

how can you expect me to be good in everything,
how can you expect me to have good grades all the time ,
how can you expect me to look lovely,
when i am just a human.
my creaking heart is already trying to survive from this riot
and i am just this little to almost lose myself in this transitory hallucination

don’t you dare expect me to be something,
even if it’s for my own good.
i am my own good.
and i’ll make it out alive