I can never say what I feel inside,
and it kills me tonight
'Cause I'm watching you with all of these words
but nothing comes to surface,
I kiss you off once again with words bursting from my eyes
with a mouth gone dry, and all I say is "goodbye".

A quick word
about Beneath the Surface
by Dream Theater.  

The song is beautiful
first and foremost.  Depressing
but beautiful.  But
it also scares me.  I don't want to
experience what it describes, but
I also have a horrible feeling
that it will eventually, inevitably happen.  

It'd be even worse
if it also happened to the other person
I'd be involved with.  Not only am I scared
for myself, but for them.
I don't want to be
abandoned, left in the dark
shrugged aside like a mute.
I hate to think that I'm capable
of doing the same thing
to someone else.  That scares me.

she strode past us with a strangely humble presence,
short dark curls matching a flawlessly and painfully casual outfit.
It must've taken her at least three trips from the shelf to the counter -
there was a stack of maybe 11 canvases in front of her, all varying in shape and size.

she was an effortless kind of beautiful,
the kind that boasts without saying anything.
you could tell so much about her just by looking at her appearance,
but at the same time all her movements seemed to be keeping secrets.
Her conversation with the woman at the cashier reflected her lightweight personality,
and I liked the way she used the word "surfaces" for the blank canvases -
that word was a large mouthful of potential.

I really hope she'll paint them in all the different shades of European blues and greens and bronzes that I had caught a glimpse of in her eyes.