Another hour
Another day
Another year
What’s my delay?

I waste my youth
To my dismay
Searching for sunlight in the heavy rain

I desperately ransack
Crumpled sheets and pillows
Hunting for you
At any time of day
As the sun glares at me
Shining rays of duty onto
My faded features
And bloodshot eyes

When I can't find you
Sparks bury under my skin
But when I turn
It's just the sunlight
Turning me into liquid wax
My eyes dissolve but
I don't care
They deserve to be punished

You're always out at night
I ring the bell so much
That I get tinnitus
But sacrificing my hearing
Is all for nothing
Because you leave my offering
Bleeding in its temple
The scornful God you are

You want me to use pills
To hunt you down but
I won't satisfy your desires
I know you like a game
But your opponent
Is apathetic towards life
Your worst fear
How can you twist numbness?

So we intertwine
A symbiotic relationship
You need me to have you
To exist as an action
This brinkmanship
Might push me to the edge
But I can live on the brink
Can you?

When the clouds part just a sliver
And the sun is like an echo,
O’er the Earth with light to give her,
To make a ray of sunlight glow.

Angels pass upon the sunbeam,
They carry light from God above,
Our so one ray of light would seem.
With sky awash in aural love.

A point of light from overhead
Expands around us from the gray,
Like a halo upon our head
Adorning us on our dark day.

To see Heaven illuminate,
When all the light has been obscured,
Reminds us that it’s not too late.
The world is sick but can be cured.

somehow,
i always manage to ruin something.
Anything.
Everything.
I wish the things id touch would turn to gold,
instead,
they turn to black.
Everything i love
turning back as if i were never there in the first place,
and i deserve it.
I
used to be so happy
and healthy
and sweet
now i am nothing
but petty
and toxic
and mean
i don't know when
or  how
but something inside of me died
like a flower left in a vase a little too long
i started to wilt away
started to lose my petals one by one
kindness.....
             Joy........
                        self love.......
Leaving me one at a time
and then seemingly
all at once
as if when the last petal fell
I died with it.
I dont know what to do with this carcass
of a girl who once was
except to hold it up
if only
to catch a few final rays of sun.

Little dewdrops on the yellow grass
Shudder slightly in the morning light
As the colors change from blue to white
And I feel the warm sunlight on my face

Sunlight shining, rested soul arisen,
Knowing there will be one more day given,
A day, an hour, with love every minute,
There until nightfall, anxiously in it.

Sunlight shining, eyes adjust to the day,
Knowing there will be light showing the way,
Light, love and learning to nourish my soul,
There until nightfall, my faith in control.

Sunlight shining, my best dreams seem less real,
Knowing there will be soft kisses to feel,
Kisses from lips, red with color of hope,
There until nightfall, my kaleidoscope.

Sunlight shining, and days past now feel new,
Knowing there will be renewal with you,
Renewed with life your love is adorning,
There until nightfall, but now good morning.

To let go of the struggle and strife
I wish to spend the rest of my life

Going into the woods
Escaping falsehoods

Dancing in the rains
Freeing myself from all the chains

Watching blue skies
Catching fireflies

Playing with rays of sunlight
Counting stars in the midnight

Admiring the nature
Identifying it as my teacher

To let go of the struggle and strife
I wish to spend the rest of my life

Going into the woods
Escaping falsehoods

Pain is the only thing which is real
It’s hard to find all my wishes are virtual

At that moment
The world was devine
Its battered brittle colors
Shed away
To reveal a shower for gods

The sun shone
So soft and gentle
It carressed my skin
With delicate strands
Of light

The rain fell
A cascade of golden drops
One could only describe
In unmeasurable awe
As a shower for gods

Washing away every fear
No more monsters drew near
And I rested
My hands free
In a shower for gods

It was one of the few miracles
That slipped out of the heavens
For I had cried for help
And the universe gave me
A shower for gods