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BloodOfSaints Jun 22
I wasn’t there
when you spilled your pain like holy wine,
offering yourself to silence,
but the silence did not take you.

You did not fall-
not into the dark abyss,
but back into light,
a reluctant resurrection.
Uzziah Ruffin Jun 22
Please, do not gaze
Upon the stories carved in my skin
Each line, a silent echo
Of torment etched within.

Please, do not pry
Into the vault of memories I bear,
For truth, when stripped of mercy,
Is but a dream that vanishes in air.

Please, do not weep
When I smile and claim I'm whole,
As I swallow quiet doses
To still the storms inside my soul.

Please, do not tremble
When my heavy eyes begin to close
Sleep does not cradle me
It only deepens what sorrow sows.

Please, do not attempt
To map the silence I contain,
For the feelings once ablaze in me
Have frozen into pain.

So I beg of you
Do not question this quiet affliction.
I am not broken beyond repair,
Just adrift in a lonely fiction.
Everyday I take a step outside in full view of the public for their mockery, empathy, and ridicule due to scars that tell of a fate unsuitable for life
Kaiden Jun 21
"you'll learn through pain" they said,
and so i did.
after years of them inflicting it on me,
i took the matter into my own hands.

i got addicted to something i hated so much,
the metallic taste,
the blades,
the touch.

the silver lines
all over my body,
the scars that'll stay there forever,
the sting after i clean the cuts,
(it feels like someone is taking care of me)

and the reason.
the reason i write this,
the reason i look for in my words,
yet can't seem to find
kinda feels like love, honestly

my writing is getting so much worse thoooo i wanna write at least one good thing before i die
Kaiden Jun 21
i lost you
when i was only supposed to lose myself.
to become the few words
unseen by the world
tbh the fact that i might kms soon and the only part of me that will stay here will be my poetry, sounds kinda cool ****
Kaiden Jun 20
I watched the light leave your eyes,
As you cancelled your plans once more,
A child that desperately tries,
Yet can't seem to just let go.

The same pattern i know all too well,
I see you turn into something i hated for years,
Because the look, that look can tell
The million words that no one hears.
again, i havent written in a long time but it doesnt matter anymore. my brother is turning into a **** copy of me, which is bad. he's literally a **** mess right now, and i wont be able to see him for **** knows how long because as soon as summer break starts i might be put in a mental hospital because of things i won't say on here. i have no idea how to help him, he lives too far away and if nothing changes, the next time i'll see him will be in august, on my birthday (if my mother lets him). i highly doubt i'll be alive by then. i might forget him, but tf am i supposed to do then? like okay, i'll kms, whatever, but what about him? i honestly feel like it's better if i just die instead of letting him watch my mental health get worse, cuz he knows it'll happen to him eventually. he's not stupid. im trying to help him but i really can't, he doesnt let anyone help him. i dont even know if he's alive now, but i hope he is. i know im rambling about random **** now but if you have any ideas, please dm me or something, i'd take any advice atp
Kaiden Jun 16
i gave up,
took the sharpener out of the drawer,
resetted the streak.
it's pointless,
the addiction scarred my mind
like the blade scarred my skin,
the wetness of the blood
and feeling of the skin opening
won't leave me like the people in my life did
so they're good, are they not?
i can quite literally feel myself becoming less functional every single day and i honestly dont know how long i can stay here
ASLRC Jun 15
Life is beautiful but
Would the wind whisper love in my ear
When I am hanging there?

Life is short but
Would the sea hug me
Or would it just erase my name?

Life is exciting but
Would the fire make my heart warm
Or would it burn my memories?

Pain is temporary but
Would the pills heal my unloved heart
And would my blood paint my life-story?

Everything will be fine but
Will the floor kiss me passionately
Or will it break my heart even more?

I already tried, I took silver liquid
And combined it with strawberry milk
But it did more bad than worse

Will my parents be so proud
If I lay there in a pretty dress?
Viktoriia Jun 13
there's an anchor weighing me down.
it won't let me change the course,
but it also won't let me drown.
it makes sure that the water stagnates
as rust compromises the fuel tanks.
losing buoyancy at a rising rate,
somehow staying afloat just to spite me.
i should find the leak and ignite it,
i should let someone else decide now,
but i've been patching holes in the hull.
some would call it a waste of time,
i guess i'm not ready to drown yet.
Kai Jun 13
My life
Practically meaningless
Im useless
People would like me better if I were dead
People wouldn't care
Who would
They wouldn't
It'll be fine
1 slit
2 slit
3 maybe 4
Watching the blood drip down
Down my thigh
Down my arm
On my hand
Dripping
Down
Painful when touched
Its fine
Painful in the shower
Oh well
Painful with clothes on
Im fine
It doesn't matter
No one will notice
No one has to know
The blood dripping
Blood dripping
Dripping
Down
Over and over
No one cares
Where is it?
Where is the blade
No
Don't touch it
Its fine.
Everything will be fine
Just a little pain
Let me just....
Cut...
One more...
Just one more....
Just one more time....
Please..
It helps the pain..
Kyla Jun 11
she keeps one finger on the steering wheel
some of the time, a half *** deal
she speeds because she’s perpetually behind
but deep down at the back of her mind
should an accident just happen to occur,
this would ensure that she would not recur.
should cancer take her body as its host
her reaction would perhaps be more positive than most
for no one would reason her apathetic bent
the why, when she would not opt for treatment.
she danders in storms because she would rather like
to be the victim of a lightning strike
she knows it’s selfish but
she can’t help but wish
there was a collateral free option to cease to exist
all she wants is to simply fade
to softly escape the mess of life she made
it ebbs and flows, the urge to act is tidal
hence why she is termed; passively suicidal

sometimes i let go of the wheel
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