I was stupid.
I let people in,
I got to close.
I know better,
but I messed up,
and it shows.
I couldn't help it,
I craved it so,
physical affection,
and someone that knows.

your eyes are wild
not everyone could see the crazy in them
the hunger in them
the readiness in them to devour my soul
and the readiness in me to just let you
because you consume my thoughts
you are my only thought

you could run me over with the car which is your words and I would still forgive you
you could leave me, without a trace , come back and cry those fraudulent tears to me and I would still forgive you
one thing I won't forgive is if you peel off the layers of my skin and plunge your claws into my heart and make it bleed
by loving someone else

I can't accept you leaving me
without a heart to fend for myself
leaving me in the wildness that isn't yours

I love you                                                              ­                          I hate you
I miss you                                                                                       Stay away
I need you                                                                                        I'm okay
I crave you                                                                               I am fulfilled
Your smile                                                                               Manipulation
Your laugh                                                                                    Your lies    
That voice                                                                                       That yell
Those eyes                                                                              That grimace
 Come back                                                                                   Goodbye
 Unbreakable                                                                               Inevitable

why is my poetry ****

I go home to an empty room,
And stare at the white wall,
Reminds me of the recess kids,
That pick on me when we play ball,
Waking up to eternal doom,
Then out of bed I crawl,
There's just way to many stresses,
So I just hide away and stall,
Eventually school starts way to soon,
Feeling worthless and small,
Always having second guesses,
It's just a constant inner brawl.

Your smile? I'll blush again
Your touch? I'll be happy again
Your hug? I'll be stupid again and again