Weight on my chest,
each breath a struggle.
My head pounds,
distracting me
from the ache in my heart.

How did I get here?
This isn’t real. This isn’t fair.

Sharp right, sharp left-
East? West?
A slow curve in the road-
which path is best?

Is peace found at the end of the struggle,
or through the struggle itself?
Should I fight loud,
or be still,
let God prowl?

There’s confidence in dominance,
but strength in surrender.
Is the high road the way,
or must I wade through the ditches,

Decisions.

Our relationship is always a closed and locked up door
No matter how hard I try, our relationship stays like it's always been before
No matter what I do, no matter how easy or rough
For some ******* reason, it never seems to be enough

I try my hardest to make him proud
Yet he never seems to listen despite me screaming so loud
I wish he'd look my way and want to see me
I want things to be normal, a happy family

What must I do to get his love
Must I call for a miracle sent from above?
I already lost a mother and now I'm losing a father
All I ever wanted was to be treated like a daughter

The year I almost drowned
was the year I learned to swim.
I was weighed down pound by pound
and things were looking grim.
My arms flailing; began to tire
and my mouth was tasting salt,
just days ago I warmed myself by fire
and by lying on the asphalt.

Shadow stalks and kicking rocks;
irrelevant if your shoes are tied.
Checking locks and kicking rocks
get carried away by the tide.

The year I almost drowned
was the year I learned to swim.
I could view the sandy ground,
though the image was quite dim.
My head; just barely above the water
and desperately I was gasping for air,
and I could swear it was getting hotter
but the temperature was actually fair.

I’ve got currents and tides
within my mind.
And when I finally rip out my insides;
more water and waves you’ll find.

The year I almost drowned
was the year I learned to swim.
While being tossed and pushed around
I discovered I had every limb.
I could see a shoreline in the distance
it’s beaches with perfect white sand.
It seemed within an instance
I started treading steadily with each hand.

My head says go,
but my gut says stay.
Please tell me that you don’t want me to go.
Let me stay by your side.

it comes and
goes,
one way or
another,
from high to
low.

Life tests you in ways unimaginable
to one whom has never lived
outside the palace of shimmering glass,
unclothed in mist-soft silks,
unwarmed by gourmet delights.

unfathomable.

those highs and lows
of life.

to all but they whom have struggled
to find warmth,
to quench thirst,
to fill heart and belly.

incomprehensible.