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Lately, my bones have been aching more than usual.
They call them growing pains and although I may not be physically
growing, I can still feel myself changing.
I remember when I was younger
and you used to be my best friend,
you were the super hero and I was your faithful sidekick.
But lately, the only attention I seem to get from you is just the
anger that was meant for my mother.
(That she never deserved.)
Maybe I remind you of her too much.
I remember once in the car you yelled at me.
You said, "Just shut up. You can never be wrong,
can you?
You're just like your ***** of a mother.:
You didn't know it, but I was crying.
And for whatever reason,
I still feel love for you.
You got in my face,
You yelled at me,
You almost hit me.
"Stay out of my ******* life."
I still love you though.
You drink so you don't have to feel and
that's one thing I've learned from you.
Thank you,
Dad.

-o.b.
and I still love you, even though you want nothing to do with me.
allie May 2017
Sweet chirps come from the trees
Small warbles of the animals echo around me
As I stare at the grass
Which is stained in scarlet.

Your body body lies still
Frozen in ice.
Your eyes never opening.

I wish I could turn back time
To when you stood by my side
Smiling that goofy grin
With your dimples pinching your cheeks.
Strange thoughts come at the oddest times.
allie May 2017
The words that are covered in darkness
crawl up my legs and into my mind
and slowly break my thoughts.

I can no longer burden those around me
or shed my reflection on them.
No longer will I drag them down
from their high place in life,
and stoop them down to my level.

Tears leave my eyes as I enter the room
that holds my death.
I do not know the effect it will have,
nor do I care.
All I can think is the depressing darkness
that floods my mind every time I close my eyes.

Yes, it will hurt.
But nothing can hurt more than my very existence.
So I sing the tune that enters my mind
as I slit my wrists.

*"Bye, bye, little birdy. I'll miss you so."
Written for a friend. M, I love you so much. I know you don't have an account, so maybe that's why I wrote this here. Please don't go. You have no clue how much you mean to us.
allie May 2017
I wipe tears from my eyes.
[**** it this is hard]
I cloak myself in darkness.
[i guess it can hide me]
My eyes are rimmed in red so I hide them.
[blah, bah. she says to look like i'm okay]
Chin up, head high.
[but i don't want to lie. i'm not alright.]
No more tears.
But I'm sobbing still inside.
*I never stopped.
My family's life has been destroyed now. God, I miss my granddad.
Shay May 2017
It’s worth burning myself out like a match
so long as others receive the light and warmth I dispatch.
allie May 2017
Cascading Waterfalls
Dripping down my cheeks like a
Deep valley of tears.
I just can't.
AC Apr 2017
It's twelve in the morning,
these thoughts don't have enough space
It screams for a peaceful life
yet craves for endless ideas
I'm not crazy, I am just aware
That people will leave
when they are tired of you
Believe me,
they can and they will.
Angel Apr 2017
The blade is dull
but not dull enough
so I scratch in just enough to see red
I can feel my mind & body calm
focused
at ease
no stinging
numb
did I subconsciously pick this spot
as a reminder?
not enough red
it's a test
why?
the music isn't loud enough
flip the switchblade
relapsed.
I'm ok.
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