THE OFFERING

He sat, silently smirking over
his cardboard cup of coffee,
leaning, to lap it like a cat.

Lips oiled and curved and bluish,
hands knotted with filth, he
stroked his pocket.

Like a child picking wildflowers -
he paid court to every set of eyes
in the busy hum of the fast-food
place.

He chose me and pinned me to
his moment in time.
Lascivious, leering, laughing,
he opened his pocket just for me.

A half-dead sparrow leaked
part way out and burred its
broken wing.

It sang as sweetly as if we were
in a glen, a meadow, a dale of
helitroping sunflowers.

Then he licked one lip and
ran his bony, bent finger down
the bird's spine, causing it
to flutter, as if some phantom
wind blew by...

Intoxicated by my thoughts.
Wishing I knew what is making it all swerve around like snake or worm. I don’t know what caused it? It might had been the tragic event that happened on Wednesday? Even maybe this might be my next mental state prospective; that is strange like all of them.
     I wish that everything was normal and that I could think straight. Too many things my brain can process, a tragic event or my brain trying to confused me with answers on a test cause I start thinking about my future. Wishing I could go back to the past and be in those comfort memories, that I day dream about and play in a movie in my brain on constant.
    Only if I could dissect brain. Though I’m in this real world; I’m supposedly in. I could dissect it; however, it would be hard cause I have Derealization and Dyslexia.

Cut the wrist of a Vampire Unicorn,
and She bled glitter,
but what do you except,
when I’m the Black Sheep of the litter,

not a runt though,
no stunts bro,
just real life right now,
just a blatant looting with more in store,

like a city of broken dreams,
post natural disaster,
when every silenced person,
finally gets everything they ever asked for,

and or,
everything they ever thought they wanted,
and I think She might be The Devil,
but then again maybe She’s a Godsend,

because she feels like a blessing,
especially when she’s *******,
and she’s not a priest and I’m not on my knees,
but still to her all my sins I’m confessing,

it’s all lessons,

so what did I learn,
when I saw her spill herself all over me,
and I was left with nothing once the sun rose,
except the mess in my bed she left behind for me to clean,

I guess that’s what you get when you cut the wrist of a Vampire Unicorn,
and She bleeds glitter,
but what did you except,
when you’re the Black Sheep of the litter,

not a runt though,
no stunts bro,
just real life right now,
just a blatant looting with more in store…

∆ LaLux ∆

The mural, it was of myself
Amongst lycanthropic flowers
I was in the Balkins
And 6am was the hour

I saw this in a psych ward
The strangest thing it was
To see a portrait of myself
It seemed as if I was in Hell

how strange it all sings
how strange everything leads around
strangely all this is strange
how strange it is now october
and the fact that now is not november and the fact that
now is not september and what is now
there is something and that is strange

how strange it is very all around
how strange everything is very and incomprehensible
and why and why does this circle exist
and why and why am I a hostage in it
did i sing too loudly or at all
very very quietly I really sang
I was too strong man or very
and very weak about what is the reason for all

reason about the reason all around what's and
these all the weirdness of these all sorrows
all the joys of where and why and why now
not december and why now is not february and why
and why am I saying all these words now
because I know that now everything is in the same lane and
that now everything is both yes and no and always

20.10.18

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and this is my december
this is my deep slumber
and this is
the only way i know how to be free

this is my memory
and there is
nothing you can take
from i

this is my city
and this is
where they all come to die

these are my blessings
mixing with my sins

i made this leash
and now it makes me want to
sleep forever


and i'll give it all away
i'll give it all to you
just to see how you'll look

and i'll sell it all away
all of me - in red and blues
just to free me from what you took

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
just to have a place to be


and if you find me someday
don't disappear as soon
as i count to three

and this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be


and i'll give it all away
to find a way far from here

and i'll live it all the way
until you find me there
cutting myself open so i can see


and this is our december,
but i know you don't know how
to feel no more,

this is my thunder
and i'm drowning far too under
the blankets to feed

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

until i leave

and this is what i remember
this is what i breathe,
how it all will be.

this is what i remember

It’s raining in the kitchen
And soaking the dish towels I just washed
But maybe it will clean the ***** dishes
I’ve been meaning to put in the dishwasher

Snow is falling in my bedroom
It was already freezing when I woke up this morning
So I’ll have to unpack the winter sheets from the attic
Another tedious chore for the day

Sweltering heat attacks my skin as I enter the den
Thank God I installed a ceiling fan the previous summer
Hopefully my wax stamps don’t melt onto
My half-assed business letters
That would be unfortunate

Then I discovered there is hail pounding into the tile floor
Inside my bathroom and shattering my ***** mirror
Now I have a reasonable excuse to buy a new one
The glass soap dispenser shattered
Bubbling and oozing across the stained counter

There’s weather indoors
Maybe I’m complaining
But this is a bit fascinating.