Straight outta Ex Dee,
Crazy mother f@cker named Blatchy
Dropping sick beats, rolling hard in the backstreets,
Watch him roll dough as he hailin' a taxi,
Fancy f@cken suit, he's livin' in luxury

Fedora tipped-top on the tippy-top head
Gunning bad gangstas, better red than dead
Shooting spree, smilin' with glee
Don't wanna f@ck with a guy straight outta Ex Dee!

I saw two butterfly flying side by side when all I can do is watching.
I think why those butterflies flying around in joy when all I can do is watching?
why?
I wanna fly too.
fly straight to your arms.
hold me until I feel there's no use for flying because your arms is enough to make me believe I'm already flying

Hey guys I wanted to appoligize for not writing as much as I used to. I've been going through a lot recently. Now I am overcoming the recent patch of life and stepping into the light. I am going to be starting a page on the social media site Facebook specifically for this page of poems because I really want to hear from you guys. My poems are about problems many people go through and often directed toward LGBT adults and youth. I would love if you all went and like the page. Hopefully the page can be fun and a bit of a support group. In an upcoming post I will give the link to the page all are welcome. Even if u are not following this page. Just if you have problems and would like a place to speak out and feel okay please come and check it out. Thanks guys. Thank you for all the support and I hope you are all okay and just know you can hit me up if you ever need someone to listen.

name: grace
age: seventeen
grade: high school junior
social security number: 6- wait

when you first meet someone,
they'll ask tons of questions.
but what's too personal
you'll have to decide for yourself.

what will I own up to?
a lot.
I give the straight out truth.
staying private isn't a concern of mine.
what's one of my truths?
I've been on medication-
a lot of it.

Zoloft, Prozac, Xanax...
you name it.
depression wasn't a choice
but I chose to get help
and for me that meant medicine.
am I dependent on it?
I fear so

I lost my dad before he died.
drugs are a scary thing.
my mom didn't want to see me taken away
so we left before I could remember.
do I know what really happened?
barely.
he died when I was six.
when I uncovered a sliver of the reality
I made that promise.
I'll never do drugs

I'm in control of my life.
chemicals aren't going to affect how I act.
except they do.
every day.
I can't get through my day without them.
I learned what happens when I do.

the dizziness
nauseousness
headache
horrifying nightmares
did someone just call me or am i hallucinating?
why is my foot tingling
reality of not having it one day.

it's called withdrawal.
I get it from missing a dose.
some get it when they can't find-- whatever they want.
is this going to be my life?
constant medication or I'm back to depression?
who am I without those prescriptions?
I can't remember- it's been three years.

why do I need this to function?
am I dependent?
I'm just the same as the rest of them
maybe I am doing drugs.

All my friends go out at night
Drinking beer
Getting in fights
I like to stay in
Watch TV
Do they think this is weird of me?
I don't do drugs
I don't drink beer
And I haven't in about a year
I don't like to party
I don't like to rage
Am I trapping myself up in a cage?
I get left out
Because I'm edge
But I don't want to be 20 and dead
I love my body
I love my soul
I don't want to damage that
With alcohol

Down by the bay
Where the poppies grow
And cool water floods the deep, pulsating red
Of mine eye
Flush the blood and blow the wind
Clear the crust of old wounds
This bay is a damp towel
Of soaked romance
Dripping in casualties

The sands of the bay are blanketed
With young Aryan girls whose hair has reddened to
Succulent Strawberries
How Alluring
Clear, clean eyes that sparkle with blue topaz
Such gems of innocence
Framed with fire locks
Water set with flame
Purity burned at the edges
Like the sun that scorches the tide

Night comes low
And cools the heat of youth
They say the night is young
But it is morning that is the baby
Night is wise
A deep sapphire that swallows all else
Wisdom
It purges the flesh
But leaves enough red for my cheek
Just a small spark
Before I turn cold

I fall in love everyday
I fall in love with the idea that people want me

Need me

There's nothing that feels better than knowing your wanted and needed.
That those you care about care just as much back.

Crave your attention as you do
And you fall in love with that
Not them per se, but the idea that they appreciate you as you them
It's a mutual happiness of attention and contentment.

The trick though, the downfall
Is making sure they don't fall for you
Mistake their lust as something more
And the same goes for you.

This is a dangerous world filled with complicated chemical mixes of feelings and responses that we have no control of.

So make sure you know what your getting into when you choose to care about someone and make them a part of your life

Isn't it funny the times that we share
Whether out in the world or from a favorite chair
No matter if we're talking face to face
Or with computer in lap chatting in cyberspace

Friendships become families that we choose ourselves
Often better and deeper than those in our house
They love and console our every pain
Accept us regardless of age, gender or name

Don't let a day pass
you don't tell them it's true
That they make your life special
And that I love you

by Lj Mark

I don’t mind that you’re gay
That just means there’s more women for me
And all the gay guys won’t hit on me as often
Mistaking me as such
It’s happened a few times before
Felt just as good about myself if it were a woman
Can’t figure out why it’s such a big deal for most guys