You stop me from dancing, from singing
From sharing my fantasy -  
With your flaccid machine gun *****
You bust my brain that’s used to bullets
Every waking moment, trying to unbalance my blast and break it…

Acting like the vulnerable child that changed except you didn’t… full of weakness and cowardice…

Do you want to talk about it?
Better not show your ugly realness,
Who knows what that could tell…

Keep on killing in eliteness
Clinking your champagne cufflink caress -
You can try to delete us
Yes, you’ve already tried to burn this…

But let’s face it - we’re fearless…
And you’ve not stopped us from dancing
We dance and sing to space-spanning anthems…
And the rain restores us
And we smell like special wild flowers in forests
And all you are is a distant splinter
That came out with ease, once you were directly demeaned

And nothing can stop us, because we are the future…
And you will freeze forever and ever in your ugly paint - its golden frame you can’t change…  
And the hell you thought you could re-spell -
You’ll feel it all too well…

I’ve learned to listen when my mother talks,
I’ve become so used to thriving off of hastily done love.
Patience is so hard to use,
But that’s why they call it virtue,
I could crawl back into the arms of another someone.
Or I could start to let go,
Of these hopeless pleads for romance.
Truthfully I don’t need anyone but me,
To know I’m worth it,
To know I’ve made it.


Rest, you’ve come so far.


I’ve learned to listen when my mother talks,
That if I keep chasing the broken,
And expecting full light,
I’m not right.
That you can love somebody,
That isn’t good for you,
And still keep them in your heart,
Hope that they grow beyond what keeps them down.


Mama said no broken girls


I’m sorry that I didn’t stick around,
Sometimes I wonder what would happen,
If we tried to stick it out.
Next Fourth of July,
I don’t think I’ll go to see the fireworks.
Instead I’ll stay a little longer at the family BBQ,
Get to know my family a little better than I have.
Because in this world we don’t get to choose blood,
But we do get to choose who we love with,
I’m sorry I didn’t choose you.


If we had come along a little later :(

No more days wasted running round and round
Hiding from each new unexplained sound
The negative outlook continues holding me back
It's time to get my life on track
Let past me die so I can be born once more
New confidence shining from my core
My mind will remain open my mouth will stay shut
Bedazzled jeans adorning ****
Stop creating excuses for my bad habit
My improved self is strong enough to quit!

If I weren't me, who would I be?
If the world hadn't shut down, would I still
be lost?
Like blisters on my feet, I carry my doubts,
Mistook burnout for discipline, wore it as
a badge.

Baggage heavy with memories,
I drag it through the mud-
Versions of myself, deeply buried in a suitcase.

If I stop and leave it behind,
Will the old me burn in ashes?

Bus stop Bus Stop
Your whereabouts unknown
Every morning I look forward to
My time spent alone
I listen to my music
As loud as it can go
But where is the bus?
Nobody knows
I know the entire route
Potholes and all
When will it get here?
I can't stand being stalled

Stop blaming yourself
for faults of other people
Stop trying to save everybody
when you are drowning too

sure, it's a good feeling to be the savior
but slowly you're becoming the one that needs to save
Your emotions gather into a huge wave
and it will be late when you realize
you are the only one that stayed on the beach

Stop blaming yourself,
and make others taste their own medicine

Let yourself do the mistakes
you always excused others for
And no its not childish
to allow yourself not to be perfect

After all, we all are just
kids in a grown-up bodies

I worry a lot,
And I know I need to stop,
But I can't just leave anxiety,
It's a human instinct inside of me.

I worry for your safety,
I worry for mine,
It's a cold world out there,
Without enough fire to keep us all warm.

So if you're struggling,
Please confide in me,
I worry so much for you,
For your happiness.

When did we stop wanting to become a firefighter
When did we stop wanting to become a police man
When did we stop wanting to be someone great

When did we stop dreaming
When did we stop fighting
When did we start settling with the easy option
When did we stop ...
When did we stop ...
When did we stop living

my writing is a blunt hammer,
a white void pounding
at the keys,
breaking off little plastic
bits of life.

this room’s full of them now,
the debris of dead thoughts,
ancient relics:
dinosaur guts,
fern dust,
fossilized failures.

the sun’s clawing its way
up again,
after all this time.
what a *******.

can you wait
for morning to sink
its teeth into you?

can we
stand five feet apart
and still meet
each other’s eyes
without flinching?

can I write something
that outlives me?
sure,
that’s the easy part.

but writing something
that lives
without me?
now that’s the trick,
isn’t it?

silk canisters and
ribbons marching like fools,
a casket dressed
in bright roses—
pretty little things
for the spigot,
the *****,
the inevitable hole.

wait another year.
or ten.
or twenty.
hell,
spend your whole life
waiting.

go ahead.
see where that gets you.

it doesn’t come.
it never does.
not like that.
never.

stop waiting
for:
someone,
something,
some sign,
some break,
some moment
to crack open
like an egg.

stop praying for it.
stop hoping.
stop wishing.
stop.

the work,
that’s all there is.

live for it.
breathe for it.
burn for it.
die for it.

if you have to believe
in something,
believe in that.

I don’t know
what that thing is for you,
but you do.
and if you don’t,
then maybe it’s time
to stop,

and ask—
what the hell’s stopping you?