No one is chasing you,
But no one is looking to you.

Please love anyway.
Because if you get a say,
We will need you
To light the day.

Who are you,
When no one is around?
Who are you when they're lost?
Who were you when you're found?

Lost, lurking in the shadows,
"We won't back down,"
You grasp their thread tight,
"We can't go down without a fight."

Did anyone
Ever let you believe
That you should be
Loved unconditionally?

Your eyes reflect the sunrise,
Which leads me to surmise
That this was disguised--
That this never felt right.

Yet here you are
Standing so tall
While you bear
The weight of it all
On shoulders so brittle,
On shoulders so small.

You keep moving,
There's no way you're losing.
You'll give it your all,
You'll never stay where you fall.

You reach up towards
Every hope
You're fighting for.
You stretch yourself so far,
Just to comfort the stars.

You hold light within your palms,
If you love one
Then you have it all,
Because love without faith
Is just emotional withdrawl.

You're the hope
That has me reaching,
The love that has me preaching,
And every promise
I intend on keeping.

Because the world keeps sleeping
When support is what you're needing.
So the lights fade low,
You ask yourself
"Where did the time go?"

But don't you already know?
You have length to show,
No strength in rows.

You count the hours,
You call the crows.
So grab your shadow,
Replace your ammo.

You know what to do,
You've got something to prove.
You give it all you've got,
Because you got a lot to lose.

I have always said I hate liars,
it's probably not a coincidence that I also hate myself,
they say lying is a sin,
to me,
it is a language I heard spoken so often in my home,
I have become fluent in it.
No, I am not afraid of going to hell,
I've been paying rent to live there with the quarters from the lying jar my parents started the first time I learned that my mouth is a weapon,
it's not much of a home,
but who am I to tell anyone what a home is,
the last ten years,
there is not one single place I have felt comfortable existing in,
that statement includes my own flesh,
So when I tell you that I've been living there,
I mean to tell you that my body has become a forest fire,
That the only difference between me and the Amazon rain forest,
is I did this to myself,
that humanity will not suffer in my absence,
I am down to my last acre,
I am coughing up the ashes of every person I have hurt by only using my tongue,
it is not a talent I take pride in,
it is a self-defense mechanism,
I want to believe that if a snake knew it's venom would **** you, it wouldn't bite,
that if a lion knew how your mother looked at you when you were  first born, it wouldn't feed on your flesh,
but animals act in ways that they have been taught to survive,
there's a difference between me and a lion,
I have seen the way my mother looks at her child,
the child who wasn't an addict,
so when my tongue becomes a weapon and tells her I'm sober again,
and my insides are swallowed by flames,
the only difference between my tongue and a gun,
is the intentions I have are not to cause harm,
if that was the case I would simply tell the truth,
tell me is lying a sin,
if the only reason I did it was so that no one else has to choke on the smoke of the fire I started?

Dear Seasons,

I have already seen too many Christmas trees that hold empty promises for kids who hope for gifts that will make them whole. I have heard too many jokes about how the present I’ll be getting this year is actually coal. When they said this, I insisted because instead of gifts I believed I deserved it: coal, or nothing at all.

Summer has held promises too, but my body never seemed like a summer-***, so maybe next year my abs will be more clear and maybe my skin will be too. So, ***** spray tans, your mom’s rules, and small-town bullies. I want to be shirtless, free and love to be alive.

Fall is at least honest. She says to me, “You are alive, unlike leaves. Never let the winter freeze your heart over. And remind yourself over again that seasons come and go. So while you can, hold your lover’s hand as boots crunch death beneath its tread. Darling Life, we are not dead yet.

See Spring is my diving board for bouncing over waters of possibility that I will cannonball in to, where daydreams feel possible while rain drips on the coffee shop window pane.

I can breathe and remember that seasons are temporary and carry with them strength and change, whether we like them or not.

Dear Seasons, you are and always have been committing treason against my fragile heart, but you will not break me. I may be shaken but you will not break me. I may be broken, but I will keep living and not let seasons break my Knowledge of the Holy who gives me reason to teach and learn and grow as life changes its outfits.

Sincerely,

a tired soul

With each passing hour I grow more cynical
More accepting of my death
And more accepting of our synthetic world
How can I preserve the sweetest part of me?
My innocence?
I cannot

I’d cross seas
I’d battle warriors
I’d climb mountains
If I knew that there was hope for me
Hope for my soul, but
There is not

So I float
Hoping the waters at least take me painlessly  
Please drown me
Please leave me numb and unmoved
I submit myself to drowning
Maybe then and only then
My soul will rest

"It's the only color I call home, because where the flora is green, life will always be seen." By K.A.S.

The storm ebbs,
Always at the very edge,
Teetering off the very ledge.
The storm flows,
But it just never moves,
It just never goes.

I remember when your words dressed me so proudly.
I remember when your eyes said love so loudly.

But I guess I was right,
Because every sunshine day ends in a cold dead night.

You never knew what I meant
When I swore every breath of yours was heaven sent.

But I guess I was always wrong,
Because we just sat in silence,
Forgetting all our words,
And forgetting all our songs.

But I still love you from the highest sight,
I still love you to the dimmest light.
I still love you every day,
I still love you every night.

But if a time should come
Where our future is unclear,
Know that I love you always,
I'll always be waiting right here.

I think
You might think
That maybe I didn't feel when our ship began to sink.

I think you didn't notice
The break in my heart,
And in all my other parts.
Because you turned away
When I started to decay.

I don't know if you'll ever tell me
Where we were led astray,
But I know, now,
Nothing green can stay.

Yeah. Nothing green can stay.

I am a
No good
No-one
and you can't
Tell me
Otherwise.

In the end
I've found
All that really
Matters
Is who you were to them,
A year before you died.

Because I put a bullet where I should have put a helmet,
Along with Honesty and Sincerity,
And all their friends and Virtues.

Rebirth is easy, it's living that gets tricky.

Reborn as a sinner:
Love me,
Hate what I do
Best.

What I do best
Is watch you fall to pieces
Limb from crushed bone limb,
And what I do best
Is write sad songs
That I hide away in a corner of my
Closet(ed mind).

When you die,
They remember you with flaws they had of their own.
They make it about them,
And their pain,
As though being a martyr
Could actually bring you back.

(As though a martyr
Could actually come back)

So call me Apathy,
That'll be my new name.
A lack of empathy
No pitying sympathy.

Because I cannot seem to make you realize,
I do not empathize
Nor will I ever sympathize
With you no-good
Nice guys.

I'm a bad guy
What can I say,
I'm the villain, the antagonist,
I was put here as a test--

I went wrong,
I went far beyond wrong,
I took a wrong turn onto the wrong path in the wrong forest
Where I just don't belong.

So goodbye for the night, and maybe the next few,
But remember my number not name, as only the living seem to do.
So just remember these words, from time to time:
I am a lack of the holy seven--
You see, in place and in honor, I make nine.

My biggest flaw is my impatience,
my inability to ignore temptations...

I always skip ahead,
which "defeats the point" you said,

"Curiosity killed the cat,"
you warned me too,
But... "Satisfaction bought it back,"
is the ending that I always knew

I cannot resist that euphoria,
from the last page of our story, a-

-book of two strangers
battling imagined dangers

If only I was less enticed by,
abundant sweet nothings, oh my..

In hindsight, I should have listened,
ignored the false sense of bliss and,

carried on without spoilers, for..
the journey would mean much more,

than this epilogue which left me reeling,
from emotions only I am feeling

But still, I refuse to accept,
that this chapter in which we met,

is somehow more meaningful,
as a tragedy, ending this.. uncheerful..

It cannot all be for nothing,
the moral of the story...
must be something..

Hidden, subconscious but still, remaining,
Please, I beg, tell me you are feigning-

-this abrupt conclusion,
this cold, harsh illusion..

What remains is..

a thousand questions that cannot be put to rest,
awakened in the presence of your disinterest

I'm left in this state of transcendence-

-into disarray, from the broken final...

Sentence

Have you ever been
To where I was born?
Have you ever found yourself
Without a rose in sight,
But you still had a mouthful of thorns?

Did you ever sit in the silence
As the wolves sang to the moon?
Did it hurt when you realized
No one is going to sing for you?

Does it hurt when you remember everyone who came into your life
Just to go?
Did it make you sad,
When you found that the only familiar voice
Was your own echo?

Love, who am I to you?
No, please, just: who am I to you?
Am I the sunshine you wouldn't wait to hold onto?
Or am I the melody that's always been the only one to really know you?

Have you ever found yourself
Sitting where I was found?
Did they ever hear the breaking for themselves,
Everytime they let you down?

When was the last time
You decided not say that you're fine?
When did you feel "I love you."
Was real, and not just a pretty rhyme?
One that we beg for,
After every night
After every fight.

Welcome to Lonely.
Population: Just you... and just me, too.