in bed, shrinking to the smallest space my skin and bones will allow. in bed, with my sorrows growing, sprawling out in every direction, all for the world to see.

how can i go and fade quietly when my hurting is a loud, lurid spectacle under flashy, purple lights?

february is inside me like a cursed fetus. it eats away at my ribs, making a gap big enough for me to sink into a quicksand of motionless hours and crumbling bones. i hate myself for having written these words, but february beckons with ghostly arms and i shrink to myself like a well-trained beast — step into my hollow chest and crawl farther and farther than before never to be seen again.

someplace else, icarus has taken one look at the sun and recoils like a banished angel. lo, the cheerless shadows befogging. lo, the waxen wings he clipped — swallowed by solid ground. lo, the skies melt above the sea, in horror, as he falls in place over his bones and sinks into his sunless chest.

Do you know
what helps
a writer
write?
Is it the way
that he feels
for you?
That wistful
yearning,
ever
prevalent,
consuming
the entirety
of his days.
Is it in
the distance?
Miles apart
and yet so
undeniably
close.
Is it in
the moments
spent with you?
Infinity
times
Infinity.
Or is it
your
love
that he has,
every waking
moment,
that helps
a writer
write?

In my arms,
or simply
right
beside
me,
I will
watch over
You
as you dream.
As soft
moonlight
transitions
gradually
into
the gentle rays
of
the coming dawn,
I will be here
to meet you
first.
For you are
my sweetest
good night,
and all that is
good
in the morning.