we met in a bar —
by accident —
i was with a friend.
we matched on tinder
a while ago.
yet, word by word,
you quoted my bio
back to me.
as if you didn’t care.
so casually.

we talked bad dates,
cats, the types we were into,
living sitch in oxford,
housemate gossip,
then silently judged some people.

my friend left, eventually.
we decided to head home.
you were parked at the station,
and i lived off botley road.

you didn’t mind the company.
i didn’t know you.
but i knew of you.
barely.
a friend of a friend.

then i found myself accepting
the lift you offered.

we were almost by my house
when you asked about my plans.

maybe i’d finish
a half-drunk bottle, i said,
with nothing else in mind.

you glanced over,
said you had one at home
you were dying to open.
extremely cheap.
probably vile.
saved for special occasions,
and improvised nights.

the spark was effortless.
as we got to my driveway,
you turned us around.

the ridiculous treasure
you had saved
was worse than we feared,
yet we drank it
until we forgot the taste.

the selfies you made us take
were the silliest kind:
posing with fake glasses,
bandanas,
and that cursed, stick-on moustache.

yours (bandana, not moustache),
wrapped around my neck,
pulled me close.
then you kissed me.

it caught me off guard —
the difference.
you didn’t need me to stay.
i didn’t hear you beg.
with the bottle between us,
we settled in your bed,
discussed programming,
reflection,
the act of meditation —
such an unexpected night to have.

as you drove me home,
you put cheesy pop songs on,
belting out taylor swift.
i noticed the comic strips
glued on the interior —
it was harley quinn.

i still remember all of it.

mostly the goodbye kiss
you carefully asked for
as i opened the door.
and the way our lips brushed
was almost like a dream,
because it was the first time
a kiss,
exchanged with a stranger,
didn’t feel cheap.

we weren’t really strangers
by the end of the night.

(at least not as much
as we currently are.)

i was warned
i'd fall for you.
stay away from him,
they said.
sweetie, he’s bad news.

i laughed it off,
thinking i knew better,
thinking, that this time
would be different.

i always loved a challenge.

three months it took
for my mind
to catch up
with my heart.
by then,
you’d already
moved on.

You wanted me quiet-
A flicker in the dark,
Something trilling
You wanted a spark

I was your secret,
Easier to keep alone
Because secrets rots,
When kept for too long

You wanted my all, my devotion
You paced around it, like a dare
Like a truth, not to be shared

You don't think I feel,
But it's all I felt
Yet I stayed silent,
I am my own personal hell

I self sabotage
Knowing you wouldn't care
I didn't not want you,
You just wanted-
What can never be fully touched

Never to be fixed,
And never undone.

You lit a spark
In my heart
Right from the start

I knew the ways you wanted me to love you
I knew all the languages of love between us
The touching, the actions, the words, emotions
I knew how that spark felt between our hearts
I knew how to whisper those words to your soul
Unfortunately, I wish I knew the languages or actions
That could have made you stayed

I have ended wars single handedly,
Brought gods broken to their knees,
And dragged down the very lights
From the gods of Heaven.

But my greatest victory
Was always that I was the fire,
That sparked your brightest smiles.

SKINS made of wires;
as I ponder the essence of existence
amidst a symphony of aired out thoughts –
a diet of wind chimes echoing in my mind.

Ideas resonate within me,
drifting throughout the atmosphere;
sunbathing selfies, even when fragments
of my heart are encased in frost.
Tears, fierce as hurricane winds;
my aspirations gathering the courage
to ascend like a bird test driving its
newfound wings.

These wire-like skins signify my quest
to intertwine with the current of an
electrifying love – the Almighty above
knows that we all begin to fall in love
when we feel that initial spark.

That love spark!

I wrote my thoughts on empty pages,
A future whispered through the ages.
In silence, I built the world I see,
A place where I can finally breathe.

I kept the echoes of my doubts,
But now they’re voices, not just shouts.
Each step I take, the light grows near,
A future built from all my fear.

I felt the weight of shattered dreams,
But now I see them as glowing beams.
What I was is lost in time,
Now I’m crossing every line.

I’m futuristic, born from the stars,
Every scar is a map of who we are.
I’ll light the sky, I’ll burn the ground,
In a world where my voice is found.

They said I wouldn’t make it far,
But now I’m shining like a shooting star.
Futuristic, watch me rise,
I’ll paint my future in the skies.

I’ve walked through fire, I’ve felt the cold,
But now I wear my story bold.
With every tear and every fight,
I’m carving out my own new light.

I’ve built my wings from shattered glass,
Each piece stronger than the past.
The sky’s not the limit, it’s my view,
And now I’m soaring, breaking through.

I’ve been lost, lost in the dark,
But now I’m finding, finding my spark.
I’ve been waiting, waiting for this day,
And now I’m stepping, stepping away.

I’m futuristic, born from the stars,
Every scar is a sign of who we are.
I’ll light the sky, I’ll break the ground,
In a world where my voice is found.

They said I wouldn’t make it far,
But now I’m shining like a rising star.
Futuristic, watch me rise,
I’ll paint my future in the skies.

I’ve touched the stars, I’ve walked through time,
Now every beat is yours and mine.
The future’s calling, it’s screaming loud,
I’m standing tall, I’m standing proud.

This is my time, this is my crown,
Futuristic, I won’t back down.

I have been a raging fire.
I have been an overflowing cup,
Overflowing with guilt;
I wash it down the sink.
I have been too much for everyone:
Too bold,
Too shy,
Too lustful,
Too innocent.
I poured a bucket of ice on my head
To simmer me down a little bit,
And now that I am freezing,
And I cannot feel the fire no more,
I have met you, the blaze.
And your warmth was burning off my skin,
And it was melting my face off,
And it was too much.
Far too much.
You have given me light and burning warmth,
But I cannot handle the smoke.
I now know how he felt.
I am choking,
So I have left.
I will be too little and too much on my own.
I do not need a spark to jolt me.