I Didn’t Mean To

I didn’t mean to dim your light,
To turn our mornings into night.
The shadows followed me back home—
From places I had walked alone.

The war is over, they all said,
But not the noise inside my head.
The drills, the dread, the sharp commands—
Still echo loud in quiet lands.

You held me when I couldn’t speak,
When sleep was shallow, dreams were bleak.
I didn’t know how deep you’d bend,
To be a lover and a friend.

I didn’t mean to build a wall,
To vanish when you’d start to call.
I thought that strength was staying still,
But strength, I’ve learned, is choosing will.

You saw the fractures in my chest,
Still pressed your hand and called it blessed.
You never asked me to forget—
Just not to live inside regret.

And now, with you, I see a door—
A space where pain can hurt no more.
Not by pretending it’s not real,
But by the grace of how we heal.

So take my hand, if you’ll still stay,
And walk beside me, not away.
I won’t get better in a breath—
But love, with you, I fight back death.

No perfect words, no flawless grace—
Just shared resolve in this small space.
I never meant to make you ache—
But now I know, we both can break…
And still come back, for each other’s sake.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.

I feel a charge in my heart space
like a magnet pulling me towards you.
I hear whispers of past life adventures
when we connect telepathically.
I see visions of our divine energy
curling in synchronicity.
I taste your fantasy on my tongue
with sweet remembrance
of a twin flame finally reunited.
I touch your tender depth
as we expand our connection
through conscious intention.
I know you
before
knowing you.
Welcome back lover and friend.
Let's begin this timeless adventure
again.

There is an extravagant kaleidoscope of galactic colors, in the paradox of your eyes.
The more human you are.
The deeper the universe inside.
We stand beneath a lachrymose sky,
that rains diamond pieces of our ancient lives.
We loved in a time before the birth of stars.
While the universe was cooling,
My heart grabbed into the depths of creation
to gravitate towards yours......

Our souls do what they do best. Speak fluently in silence.

Hypothesis:

Two souls, entangled, cosmically bound,
A binary system, forever entwined.
A subtle connection, felt but not known,
A mystery, a secret, alone.

Experiment:

Proximity brings intensity,
A pull, a force, a gravity.
Emotions rise, feelings ignite,
A connection deep, a mystical light.

Observations:

No understanding, no explanation clear,
A puzzle unsolved, year after year.
Yet, a bond exists, a cosmic tie,
A love unknown, a mystery why.

Conclusion:

Before time began, a pair they were,
A chiral bond, forever sincere.
Entangled souls, forever drawn,
A love eternal, from the dawn.

Bones asleep on ocean floors
tell a story like no other,
we are a natural machine,
a creature cursed.
To soil, earth, rock,
it's been no time at all.
To us it’s been an eternity.

I think humans each have a few fundamental flaws,
and that each one is its own personal tragedy.
I think one or two are someone else.
A natural result of hearts incompatible,
not everyone can love you back.

You are to devour me one day,
or perhaps I, you.
Currently we are blank slates,
beings so young,
beings so old.
We knew each other back then,
I can feel it.
Quarks coming together,
fossilised footprints whose paths intersect,
fish in a fishbowl,
rats in a cage.
But one day you are to devour me,
or perhaps I, you.
And we will be joined as we once were,
two people sharing a body,  
hearts beating together,
lungs expanding as one.

The word soulmate springs to mind,
the idea of my heart beating anywhere
but besides yours terrifies me.
It unsettles me,
makes me sick, absent.

And I’ve felt this absence for years,
it's starting to get to me,
weigh me down, a led balloon,
a ship in the storm,
pockets filled with rocks.
A part of me wants you to feel it too.
Another hopes you never know such a weight.

Sometimes I can’t stand it, alone in my chest,
I lay it out on the table,
watch it pulse and ooze, beat painfully,
beat alone,
and I dream of a time long ago,
an eternity away,
where you and I were there, combined,
with no before and with no after,
quarks coming together,
rats in a cage,
thoughts lying only with each other.

I dream of a future, much the same,
our hearts beating, our lungs breathing,
thoughts simultaneous,
laying side by side,
bones asleep on ocean floors.