In a world where the minds split
Falling into a fiery pit
Balancing reality and imagination
Mounting up into mounds of frustration
The world feels so heavy right now
Unsure of which way to move or how
Taking facts and drawing them out
The various changes leave in doubt
Imagination wants to play
Control feels so serious right now
Torn between what's within reach and beyond
Time to sever the bond
A battle between sadness and happiness
Most days are either-or, and some are both
The one constant is that those are the choices
There's no in-between without the voices

As the sunset drew closer, we decided to meet and give this a go
She wore the simplest dress, but it fit her so well
Her hair was to the side in a ponytail, with wavy curls to the end
The perfect shade of pink on her lips
Her eyes were brighter than the candle
Her nose had the cutest little wrinkle when she laughed
After dessert, we took a walk by the water
I held her shoes so she could dip her feet
Halfway down the path, she grabbed my hand
We stood still just for a moment
Locked eyes and kissed
I felt like I was floating
I couldn't handle the sand beneath my feet
She slowly ran her hands across my neck
Still locked in a kiss, we both opened our eyes and chuckled
We finished the night with a kiss at the door
That perfect night, I often reminisce

A year flew by
We were still riding the honeymoon phase high
We spent every day together
We make it through any kind of weather
One day, if all turned to the worst
We exchanged words and actions, reversed them
Our first fight changed everything
That was the first devastating sting
Screaming over one another
Not listening to each other
When tempers finally cool down
We realized it was over, nothing to frown
Our last fight destroyed everything
Petty jabs on both ends
We were supposed to remain friends,
Instead, we struck the devil in each of us
Throwing unnecessary blame
Igniting the treacherous flame
Crushed under the circumstances
No room for advances
A long love has gone in one conversation

The one that got away
The one I wish I had gotten to stay
She was the love of my life
The one I was going to make for my wife
I never got the chance to ask
We destroyed our love before it got a chance to flourish

Never the same
Intense
Glaring dose of reality
Havoc on the brain
Time lost
Maybe a hidden message from deep within
And anguish on the soul
Relentless sleep paralysis
Endless fright

There is a thunderstorm in my head
Flashes of lightning behind my eyes
Rumbling in my ears
Rain pouring from my nose
There is a thunderstorm in my head
Grey clouds surrounding my brain
Blood pooling in my mouth
Teeth chattering with every rumble
Tongue swimming in blood
Darkness brewing in my eyebags
Lashes falling like ****** hail
Eyelids are heavier than an overcoat
Pupils so blown
Whirling clouds have my brain in a vice
A flare of sunlight would be nice
Blood-stamped conversation
No one sees
The voices are screaming
No one hears
Cryptic sounds near and far
No one speaks
There is a thunderstorm in my head

A sudden change in the atmosphere
Goosebumps on goosebumps
Sudden rambling and flashes
Uncontrollably trembling
The sky screeching
Shades of grey
That frightening night, I remember
You must find the nearest corner
No windows insight
My eyes feel glued shut
Hums drowned out the thunder
Rocking like a rocking chair
Strike from above
Imprints the ground
No, not again, please not again
Deep breath, exhale slowly
The storm will pass

Chicken Rice Soup

2 Chicken *******
2 Cups of Rice
A stick of butter
Eight  helping hands
An empty belly


Directions:

1.)In fall weather, the calming scent could only be Grandma’s kitchen. Saturday morning, raging bellies, smooth plea, acknowledged. There's a crowded table, a full house of grandkids, and hilarious workarounds. The magic assembly starts eagerly with helping hands.

2.)Sauteed chicken is diced in the pan. Bring it to a boil, and don’t let the plan spoil. Time lapsed into a bowl, spoons all gone, no spoon, no food. Fresh bread from the oven. Everyone wants a taste; don't spoil your appetite. Calm over the room, everyone enjoyed a hot serving of Grandma’s Chicken Rice Soup.

Sunday- Eerie calm, conflicted resolve, evolution set forth, accomplishment succeeded

Monday- Empty spaces, glances missed, healing slowly

Tuesday- Numb and hollow, discouraged and drenched in disbelief

Wednesday- Stormy weather, tsunami rises, unsettling calm at heart

Thursday- Nostalgia brewing, focus on 1000, mind settled

Friday-General calm, tickle me, intrigued

Saturday- Empty spaces stand, swallowed by sadness, but thrive in this world

A master plan has been laid out for the future
And you’re still at the bottom of the totem
Reaching three decades on this earth
Wondering what it's morphed into
Going for the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow
Letting positivity bleed through me into this pen until it runs on empty
Striving to succeed over greed
I am triumphant
Take a breath so my lungs can breathe
Taking in the fresh summer breeze
Running out of time
Mind racing, the soul is fading into the dark
Heart beating in a rhythm so relentless
Hoping my mind stops before I indirectly spill your ***** deeds
Buried deep in my mind, circling the drain
Cutting you like a switchblade, memories of you fade
I am triumphant
I have been stepped on and hated on, but I still kept my dreams alive
To me, it’s not about the money and the fame
It’s about self-expression, knowing how to speak your mind
Our lives are intertwined by design
Do you think it’s time to be a better version of yourself
Trends and fads come and go, but you remain an empty canvas
Create your path and be a trendsetter
Shocked by love, scorned by terror
She has risen above and let a love so true heal her wounds
Now she sits back, more in love than ever before
She is no longer forsaken, for she is now a wise woman in love and has turned sorrow into strength
Cherishing the love she has found in her

Fighting through life to change my view of the world
That has become cold and blind to me
I'm stronger than I was
Shaming me for the lifestyle that I chose
Almost 30 years fighting the same fight for my right to be who I am
Taking on the depression demons below the surface
Feel left out in this cold world of black sheep
This is a tale of a soul so far gone into depression and anger
All these pills just make me numb, millions of doctor visits
It all started in late 1994 and has progressed virtually every year
After I felt so cold, I couldn't even cry anymore
Tear ducts are drier than the Sahara
I close my eyes, and all I see is pain and horror
All I'm asking is for some light to show me the way
Stronger than I was
The game got hold of me
I can't let my mind be free
Never know the mayhem it might unleash
The anticipation of the way it'll all turn out
Most years went by all the same
No change in my convictions
Home life was a drag, and school was an escape
I spent many years numb; putting on fake smiles kept it all inside
No longer looking for validation
I raise my voice to the north, rosary in hand
Speaking to the one who's cared for me all along
Restoring my faith is my only way out
Stronger than I was
My only way out
Stronger than I was

You never know when the clock expires
Live  far beyond the wealth and desires
My soul bleeds fire
Drama raises the pressure higher
Looking at this world blind
Loyalty is hard to find
Pain drips from a double-edged sword
Praying and falling short with the lord
Playing the same sick scenario
Wondering if the clocks are ready to expire
You never know
You may never know
But the Lord knows
Because he did sow
And made sure those seeds didn't blow
Away with the wind
Yet you feel so undisciplined
Like all you'll ever do is  sin
Like, maybe you just can't win
But that's not true
Your world isn't so blue
You can live your life brand new
You'll never know
Missing that gentle voice of comfort
Thinking, really, what's my life worth
The glorified crusade has gone wild
Bleeding through the seams
Life is flashing by too fast
Fight with my heart and soul to last
Lights piercing through me like high beams
You never know
Why do things fall the way they do
The one true life independence is through total transcendence