Two souls sat on a worn-out park bench, the city's dim lights blurring into the soft darkness of the evening. One seemed to have found a cynical comfort in their solitude, while the other was still grasping for a different truth. The air between them was thick with unsaid words, a silent prelude to a conversation they both knew was inevitable.

“When you feel sad and lonely, who do you imagine to be lonely with?”

- “Nobody, loneliness for me was once a pain, now I rather find comfort in it.”

“What if everyone left you behind what would you do then?”

- “Well not everyone will leave me behind silly I’ll have my shadow with me.”

“Isn’t that sad?”

- “It is for those who live in delusion, but in reality, when you take your last breath, you do it alone .”

“What do you do when you’re frustrated sad and hurt?”

- “I cry.“

“Is that how you express your emotions and feelings?“

- “No.”

“Then?”

- “ I cry, because after I’m done, people assume I’ve cheered up. If I don’t cry, they will continue to ask questions like “are you okay?”. Even when we both know that I’m not, they’ll still force me to answer reality, when I’m dying to escape it.”

Oh, how will I lead this life without love
My heart yearns for you,
All of you.

I long to find you in every universe, and in every lifetime.
You helped me be the person I am today.

My family.
Don’t leave me hanging like this.
I’m still learning how to live.
I’m still trying to love.

My deepest condolences to you and your loved ones.
For my heart is preparing for the worst.
I only wish, love.
No solitude.
No anger.

Just love.

As the days come and goes, I ask nothing but peace and love God.
Prepare me for this solitude that I may have to face one day, when no one but You is left.
Lord, prepare me for the best and worst.
And protect who I treasure most.

I say I want something real,
More love ,more connection,more presence.
But everytime it comes ,feels more distant
The harder I try ,more it repels

What if I go after what I want?
And it doesn't want me back,
Chaos fills my mind

But still in need of peace ,
I try find reasons not to give up,
I get quiet and so silent.
I question if being seen leads to being left.
If then, I should leave first to be seen.

Have walked with it in my heart,
Like an armor I call it strength,
Challenged myself it was a journey worth walking.

Convincing myself not needing anyone was okay,
Doing everything on my own was worthy.
In isolation I called solitude my friend,
Because in it was peaceful.


But all this maybe am just afraid,
That letting someone in , they'll get to know a version of me I kept hidden,
They'll still walk away anyway,
And I'll still walk and be alone anyway.

They always say the same things -
the script and the show

“Let’s fall in love over a fancy dinner
and stories of travelling the seas.”
“Take control of my car stereo
play whatever you love.”
“I did three thousand pushups in three minutes, darling, feel my biceps.”

Same faces,
same words,
same places,
same stories.
Heard it all before.

But maybe -
if we’re able to cry all night
on the other’s shoulder,
for no reason,
or a hundred reasons.

If we can scream out
the moments we felt small
felt guilt,
felt shame,
felt fear,
felt agony.

If your long paragraph
meets mine
and we don’t flinch.
Just hold.
Just stay.

If we can dance,
inebriated,
with arms so entwined
we forget
whose hand is yours
and whose is mine.

If we lose track of time -
in silence,
in words,
in laughter.

Let love bloom
in a secret garden
of periwinkles and petunias
but also
in the mud,
the mould,
the stains of regret
and wishful thinking.
Let it exist
in nightmares
and dreamless nights.

Not perfect.
But present.
Something different.
Something more.

H e a r t  
              reflective altar
P e a c e
                            supreme r e I g n s
Temple of God
                        quiet sit


rest
               less
                              ness

                       f
                          l
                            e
                              e
                                         s

silent  S O L i T u d E
                     new vibration
                                                    speaks

V O I C E
                     of
                                    VOID

these ghosts I hold
they shriek, they moan
a reminder of a past
I cannot atone
I wish to one day find
peace in this violence
see the message in the static,
I'll find myself in the silence