fear them;

for their strength
for their intelligence
for their rationality
and their unwavering pursuit of the truth
fear them

because they know more than you
because, in their strength, they are stronger than you
just like how in their clear headed soberness
they scare you
with simple truths
because of your refusal to acknowledge them

simply put
fear them
because they are repulsed by you
and can figure out how to be rid of you
and will be rid of you
when your usefulness dries

I think maybe you're Medusa
Though I'm far from stone
Much closer to ******
Far out of my mind

Still

I am frozen, reduced a
Man to a moment in time
When I was sober
And you were kind

like a drug,
i just can't get enough
the side effects are
this numbness.
the pain of looking
your addiction in the eyes and
being reminded of how
you first died.
but there's no more
a reason to relapse,
no more season for sobriety:
so I stare at
my human addiction
in the eyes,
hoping he's also
the remedy.

shevaun stonem

I hate sleeping.
I stay up all night if I can.
I hate everything.
Because of a man,
Who hurt me,
Who touched me,
Who took away my
Childhood.
He showed up
In people you may know
On Facebook.
The other day
But the other day was months ago
Now its October, and I can barely remember saying hello.
On autopilot but completely distraught.
And I'm sorry mom and dad, I'm not close to sober but close to home.
Close to home.
I saw his picture and it hit close to home.
I was disgusted to see what I saw.
I saw he had more children.
I saw he had a wife.
I wanted to send him a message but
I didn't.
If I did;
I would tell him he took away my innocence, he took away something I can never get back, and I'm bleeding like I did back then.
My heart hurts.
Everything hurts.
The debauchery of it all is he looked happy and that made me crumble.
That's why I fumble, mumble, also stumble into whatever.
That's why I'm scared to get sober.
Scared to get sober.
Scared to get sober.
I can hear the decibels because I'm always on look out for the sound of his foot steps.
I can feel the footsteps vibrate the room.
I can feel my bed shaking when I'm trying to sleep.
PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder.
Trauma is the gateway drug. Trauma ***** up the way you love.
I need a break to figure out why I hurt.
I know this is one but there is more I need to unpack.
Unpack and track.
Unpack and get myself back.