(I had sold my soul
& the price was cheap)

Still soaking up trouble, like rain in the dirt,
I’m blessed to anyone I get to know,
no-one can be called the Devil, I’ve peaked
behind the curtains, no-one else comes close,
when you’re someone special, you’re either
loved or hated, rarely in the middle.
Reality doesn’t wait for anyone, when you
see someone you love die in the mist,
I’ve been told there will days like this
& it’s silly to pretend, that one’s sins won’t
be accountable for, but we commit, repent
& continue, I guess it's the way things go,
& I knew my cousin was on junk, I blessed
to see twenty-four. Grew up, grew apart,
to our surprise, I got my than five years,
started with poetry & spreaded out with it.
Still people think I’ve got to act only for the block,
where they only see me in the poems I write,
with needles & bourbon, fooling around, like magic
I got up & got out, like I snap my fingers.
Since early days of life, we’ve been friends, now
I see the Devil in your grin, hatred in your eyes,
Satan in your lies, it’s like snakes in disguise.
So how come, you talk with bitter & spite?
It’s my fault for what you’ve done with your life?
We barely embrace, can’t even look at in my face.

Gracefully sliding down your silver skin
It leaves a waste of blackness
That zig zags like a corn maze
A flame sets you into motion
Giving off your sought after euphoria
Our bond is one not saught after
Yet its a connection I yearned for
Nights spent on the bathroom floor
With desperation and a fiendish itch
You were there as my comfort
With tears in my eyes and a stain on my pride
We floated off into a temporary retreat

my brain is reprogramming
short circuit on the mother board
this technician has got it sorted out
he never pulls the cord

i feel free with clarity occupying my mind
nothing on it but the perception of my demolished confine
i am a free man, i step away from judgement
the thoughts of others occupying my will to be content

the content they scroll
holy scrolls gave me a toll
i seek purity
what i seek has been here all along

I want to be sober,
but what if
this headache'
this toothache,
this heartache,
these aches
never end?
It all just hurts so bad,
and all I can think of are
these pills sitting on my desk
and how much all I wanted to be was
Sober

To be sober is to be free
     Free from that desire
          That need
To be sober is to have a clear mind
     Be able to think
          Realize where you are
To be sober is to be tired
     Tired of the state you were in
          But ready for the change
to be sober is to be alone
     alone with your thoughts
          the thoughts of past present and future
               alone with yourself
                    and the place you have put yourself in
to be sober is to be ashamed
     ashamed of the damage you’ve caused
          the people who have walked away
               and the ones you have hurt
                    the wounds you have left
                         so deep and unforgettable
to be sober is to be alive
     you were given the ability to feel
          feel all the things you once pushed so deep down inside of you
               all those emotions that led you to the addiction come
               back all at once
to be sober is to feel different
     you feel reborn
          new and unusual
               your first breathe as a human being taste so sweet
to be sober is a figment of my imagination
     these thoughts aren’t attainable
          this is the life I’ve chosen
               there is no turning back
                    so I cozy up at the bar
                         and drink away the pain
                              the addiction controls me
to be sober is a dream

Cloudy;
my world is
hazy
tound the edges.

I’m walking with a
vignette filter
on my eyes,
like glasses I can’t remove.

But I’m sober,
I think.
I’ve been high, yes,
most days;
but not today.
I’ve drunk, yes,
always too much;
always ending in aches and
some sorrow;
but that was last night;
not today.

I already know that tomorrow’s
forecast is cloudy
too.