I go with the flow until the current consumes me, thrashing around until I'm lost at sea. Sometimes I'm lucky to find a rope to be held, a sense of safety amidst the chaos, a feeling unparalleled. I'll tug and I'll pull until I'm almost free, but the rope always snaps and the hands on the other end I never reach. I sink to the bottom with no hope to keep float, the sadness is heavy, a personal chainmail ccoat. I work up the nerve to swim towards the shore, but that's so ambitious when I've never been there before, so I spend my days floating in thoughts, reminding myself love has always had a cost. Every time I'm close to the beach of a lover, I'm hit with tidal waves one after another. One day I'll free myself from this isolating ocean,  but the whisper of being saved is a lingering notion.

You can't figure me out?
The picture on the box is clear
Piece me together, take your time
Frustrations rise
Pieces are bent
Impatience is high
And my pieces are lost

I'm not good with money, a budget never could manage me, I hate when it's sunny, I prefer rain and a breeze.

I can be silent for days on end, can't even bring myself to sing, easily broken yet hard to bend, my mind is a stubborn thing.

Sometimes I get lost way too deep in my thoughts, have fun trying to guide me away, and I'm sensitive too don't yell in my room, it'll just activate the rage.

And God I get mean, inconsiderate and spiteful, with nowhere to lean, I'll feel my anger is rightful.

My hair clogs the drain, it's long and disarray, you won't get my brain, I cry like every other day.

I can't do my makeup, my eyelids don't shine gold, I'll threaten a break up, the second I feel you're cold.

I'll have the last word, everytime we disagree, I don't know if you've heard, but you shouldn't love me.

I trace your name on my collar bone,
It feels good on my skin.
Craving you this badly,
Will be my lifelong sin.

What if I loved
But didn't get obsessed
You like em crazy
And let me undress
But I got too comfy
So blessed in your presence
Now I feel like I'm dying
Drowned in your absence
And I'll call and I'll call
You don't even care
The love you claimed to feel
Was never ******* there
But I fell for you anyway
You became the moon
An all consuming enigma
Gone way too soon
But you'll give me breadcrumbs
And I'll wait here for dinner
You laugh at my pain
I guess at least heartbreak makes me thinner

And like a kid clumsily sneaking through the house in the dark,
you awakened all of my senses,
turned on every light of my heart,
making messes all along your path.

Only good enough to be spoken to in the dark, I try not to think about it.
You consume all of my daylight hours,
Always present in my mind, how long will that last? If I'm only thought of when the stars come out, at least I'm thought of at all.

When I close my eyes tightly,
And I do this nightly,
I can hear your voice.
You speak to me softly,
And I think ungodly,
Now I can feel your presence.
A touch I'll never know,
You already let me go,
Doesn't mean I don't miss you.