I wait for wind, the skippers wave at me
but I am just as ready for the sea
....There is no wind anymore
....not a breath of wind anywhere
I'm lying in the harbour, lying on the quay
just bobbing in the harbour, this and every day
....There is no wind anymore
....not a breath of wind anywhere
My plans are stored away, are stored away
provisions for tomorrow, for another day
....There is no wind anymore
....not a breath of wind anywhere
I'm staring at the sails, I stare and keep staring
at easy ins and outs, the moving, moving
....There is no wind anymore
....not a breath of wind anywhere
Those sails are tight and bulging, not a rip or tear
while nothing happened here, no, nothing happens here
....There is no wind anymore
....not a breath of wind anywhere
I watch the skippers sailing out, they roam and roam
but I don't catch the wind, and stay at home, at home
....There is no wind anymore
....not a breath of wind anywhere
There is no wind anymore
not a breath of wind anywhere

They told me in the hospital,
with white walls echoing like a tomb,
"Your wife is dead."
I stood there, hollow,
my ears ringing with the absurdity of it.
I wanted to go home,
sit at her feet,
and tell her what happened
so she could tell me what to do
because that is how life worked:
I carried my burdens,
and she untied them with her hands.
She was my wife, yes,
but more than that
she was my mother when I faltered,
my friend when the night grew too heavy,
the compass I leaned on
when the road split into shadows.
Without her,
the air has no map.
The rooms in our house
stare back at me like strangers.
The bed is an endless field of absence.
Oh God,
why is it that women
are not like her anymore?
Why must her kind vanish
the kind who pour themselves out
until the world is softer,
the kind who hold you steady
when you don’t even know
you’re falling?
If love was a language,
she was its first word
and its last silence.
And now I am left,
stammering,
trying to spell my life
without her name.

Would it be such a bad thing to fall just once?
Thoughts flood, and some are screaming loud
Others will be missed, leaving without a sound
Holding your hands up to the sky, to catch the rain as it falls
And for once, I think you'll sit in silence with me.
But you never made the call

As much as I love storms, I can't help but cower under the clouds
Longing for some sort of bright light to push it away
So I bring down lines and lines upon these weary skies
Silent fog that settles bt atleast now I know fora bit this light will stay And I can focus on which is the right way
Even if it slowly kills me, day won't always seem like night

Mother, I spread my arms for you
as the nails beat into the flesh of my wrists
and the wood stings the skin of my back
I look up at the skies and pray that it rains
so that your garden will grow at last
and bear fruit that you'll want to share with me
but I'll be gone far too fast
Father, I raise my eyes for you
so that I'll see if there's tears when you cry
The phone will be answered for all but for me
and my sisters and my brothers will be free
No more time at the window, because we knew what to expect
no more times calling your name when locked out of the nest
So wear a cross or a ring maybe my name to mark
do not forget I was here
Sisters, I'll raise my chest for you
as I breathe in and out for as long as I can
until it becomes heavy with a weight I cannot bear
and my spirit shoots up into dusk
You held my hands as I first took steps
but clawed at my scars when we were on other ends of the battlefield
we were what we were raised to be,
and I love you forever til my rest
Brothers, I'll hold my face to yours
as my blood starts to run thin
Nose to nose you'll see we aren't that different
as you once thought
Fingers crossed that you'll reach the steps
you've prayed to reach a thousand times
and I hope that my blood will hit the earth
so that the sacrifice will be mine
Friends, wherever you were when the time had come
I will always hold my peace
for you were my stable when it thundered
and my flower for deaths the reaper will keep
In a circle we will rise, in a cycle we'll never leave
I hope that I'll meet you in my next life
otherwise I'll forever be near, hold your peace
My tears that I cry are for the gods that held me
and I not knowing their presence held fast
For regret that I will not stay too long
but relief as freedom will last
My heart will beat just one more time
for the people of this world
I hope that you will not cross the line
when the war goes on still
I'll give up all my lives if it means that you all will be safe
underneath the willow tree
we were all birthed under that place,
for our will to choose will be always free

Night and day, traffic

rustles around the silence --


of the park, the eye.

My terror grows with each passing night,
As slow, steady darkness steals away sight.
Footsteps and whispers add to my fright —
Is there an end to such desperate plight?
How long, too long, till dawn’s early light!
I clutch my candle in trembling hand,
And watch the shadows dance to understand
What I envision as its light expands
Through the room and down the hall’s span.
There lingers a vision, diaphanous and pale,
Shifting and shuddering, as though it were frail,
Whispering softly a most horrible wail.
Eyes no more than twin black abysses,
The vision approaches to beg final kisses.
Heavy, so heavy, my heart thuds in my chest.
From hall to room the visitant creeps,
Upon my mortal form it silently seeps.
Gliding in silence, not walking — not quite —
Closer it comes with its sulfurous blight.
My eyes are held tight — can’t even blink right.
Lips part, jaw drops, revealing a black maw;
The specter extends one moon-gray claw,
Caressing my cheek with a grave-cold paw.
My throat constricts — no breath do I draw.
It locks my eyes with hell’s black gaze,
Until moonlight strikes in golden rays.
The phantasm shudders and starts to blaze,
Struggles again its arm to raise —
But from the light it reels in malaise.
And heavy, so heavy, my heart thuds in my chest.
The hallucination retreats, as though pressed,
Back to the doorway — its intent suppressed —
Shrinking into the dark hall, a lost contest,
Driven by a moonbeam so blessed,
Whose gentle light coursed to my relief
And unmasked the fear beneath belief —
The frightful soul-stealing thief
That stalked and grieved me, if only brief.
Now I breathe, and calm my soul:
“Twas nothing but a myth… a troll.”
Then thunder pealed a mighty toll.
Wind brought rain and a thundercloud —
Again that wail, this time loud.
Oh heavy, so heavy, my heart… no more…

In the darkest corners of my quiet nights,I stare deep into my darkest thoughts.
A mixture of feelings I experience, maybe anger - happiness or sadness,
But confusion is the result, difficult it is any signs of clarity to have.
It's complicated like searching for a key ,fallen to the ground at night,
And how is it possible to find it , without any light but natural eyes?

Then it clicks into my mind , maybe I should look for light, I really need it,the key.
I text her ,she is my therapist, maybe a lover, or a friend.
But disappointments comes unexpectedly, mostly unwelcomed,
No replies, neither phone calls ,just the silence again,
But this time,it's a warfare,it's a wish to never have started looking for light.


Sometimes it's better what we have,than looking for something that will take it away,
Our own silence can be more peaceful,but we barely feel comfortable in it,
Other people's silence can be harmful,that we force them to fill the gap ,
Only to become their slaves,but what can we do with silence anyway?