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neth jones Mar 2020
discoloured words
a mass in my gob
bled down from the gutty brain
a study
plucky of death..

..if i widen my mouth
dislocate my serpent jaw
and exhume my ugliness
exhaust my ugly breath ...?

if ?

if i trot out the door
in this mug
with this base full of blather ?

i swipe ***** hands on my lap
and focus my eyes
adjust to the scene

this bold idea is not for me
today is a sick day
practice my interior tricks
the doles from my doctor
and reform as less bogged
less fastened to the kink
of The Individual
Empire Mar 2020
Depression crawls into my head
I try to lie down
To quiet the chaos
It gets louder
Demanding to be noticed
My stomach turns
My head aches
My hand reaches for the blade....
I don’t want new scars
I do not want new scars
I DO NOT
Isa Mar 2020
"I appreciate you."
"And what about me do you appreciate?"
she looked down,
"A lot of people don't have enough guts to look the unknown in the eye,
and validate it.
You face it. You face the unknown."
I smiled,
thinking that reality must come someday,
so why would I ever avoid it?

"I appreciate your honesty with reality" she said.
she didn't realize she was she same as me, did she?
I don't think I realized her situation more than I had in that moment.
Isa Feb 2020
i won't make it to see you love me,
i'm trying to die.
not by choice
Isa Feb 2020
she monologued to me,
I was beside her bed.
I could tell that this monologue wasn't meant for me,
it was meant for the stars.
I remember she talked to them a lot,
she thought they were some supernatural beings,
so they would "get it" more than we would.
she probably wasn't wrong, I got in the habit of it too eventually, after she passed of course.
since I knew I was talking to her too up there.

she wasn't talking about anything in particular,
she often didn't,
and I can't exactly recall everything she said,
her words seemed so sacred.
not meant for me to repeat by count.
but at the end of her monologue, she started directing it at me.
telling me that "the universe was made to be seen by your eyes"
and that I was worth a thousand lifetimes.
she never clarified what she meant,
but I took it as if she was telling me that
the world is so beautiful
and so much changes
but I'm beautiful too,
and the changes we both make
are made to be seen together.
the stars and I were made for each other.
the world is not rushing you
Ayn Feb 2020
No words come to mind,
None spin through my head.
Their sparking shine
Has turned to a dull sheen,
And I cannot form a line.

I am left inside of this slump,
And my mind cannot think,
So now it cannot gaze
Or even drink
The wine of my knowledge.
Wine aged for 16 years, sounds very old. In a slump and it *****. Writing this took out what was left in my head. I’m blaming my influenza.
Brando Feb 2020
the murky blue water ripples
shades of Jade concealed
only made visible by the shards of
sun piercing through the layers of the blanket.
dancing and crashing
composing music as we come together
and break apart.
colliding with great force
the land trembles at sight of the crest,
for the power we yield is far too great.
waves demolish the ground we walk on,
washing away the marks we've left.

the storm has now passed,
tides begin to die down.
the symphony ceases
and the sand crawls home to the shore.
silence has infiltrated the bed,
no more movement between the layers of the deep
left in a state of debilitation
all that was once barren,
now kissed with the sweat of the sea.
we part for the night-
two ships carry on- leaving a light trail behind,
with only the glow of the night,
to guide us to our fantasy.
I wrote this when I was living with my ex. we've just started talking again and we've been having casual and normal conversation again. its heartbreaking but wonderful at the same time. having a taste of the past is better than erasing it.
Ayn Feb 2020
A fever courses through my veins,
And I’m feeling lightheaded
The world continues to spin
But I’m standing still
Wondering to myself
Am I sick with love?

All I can do is stand and hope
That my brain is just on elope.
But sometimes I can feel, and know,
That I’m just a **** dope.
103.8 degrees. I don’t feel too great.
D Feb 2020
i'll temporarily make my home in your bed
i'll live inside your head

until we're both dead
read into it
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