I'm seeing you tonight
And it's been quite a while
Four days to be exact
I remember a time when
It drove us crazy
To not see each other most days
I act like I don't care
Sometimes it feels like I don't
But I feel the sadness looming over me
How can I not when
I know I want to see you more?
Life isn't that easy though
It's best not to feel
Not to care
A self-protective coping mechanism
That lets me function as human again
I'm nervous to see you
I don't know how I'll feel and
If I really am compartmentalizing
I know it doesn't hold up
When I'm laying next to you
I don't want to want you this much
I still want to be with you though
Just not so invested
It's unsafe
It's uncontrollable
And as someone who needs to feel
A variation of both of those
I'm terrified that seeing you
Will destroy these walls I've built
Until I'm left with nothing but
Myself
and
My feelings

Isolated, trapped in a dark abyss,
Remained under her lulled admonition;
Never wished to depart, but to depress,
Grieve then be stiff, yielded in damnation.

Cut off away from the world’s speed of light,
Off she choked a too petty eulogy;
Swore never to venture off from its sight,
Deprive hope, ****** apathy with elegy.

The dark poet’s ode continues to cruise,
Spills & spreads to her frail soul like poison;
Intoxicate & numbs her as a bruise,
Nullifies every positive motion.

Go better off now, my little sweet one,
The world has just locked away your sunshine;
Forget about help, you’re banished & gone,
Sleep it all away, not one can outshine.

slow tiredness infiltrates my body
dulling the senses.
and dragging my limb downs
into the abyss

darkness surrounding me like a blanket
taking away my thoughts
numbing the feeling

it's a complete shutdown
the crown has fallen long ago
so this is no longer my town

just a ruined place
that lost the race
it couldn't keep up the pace

a place I dare not show my face