I can’t get your words out of my head
Syllable by syllable I’ve reread
Them a dozen times,
And now I contemplate why
And how I never knew
You felt how I do.

I slept pretty well in bed last night.
But something startled me, made my heart beat very fast.
At first I couldn’t figure out what was happening.
Then I realized I was dreaming of you.
Is it at all possible, that you were dreaming me?
Is it possible that you pulled me telepathically into your bed?
I was eased into your comfortable embrace;
laying underneath you in total darkness,
we were both unrobed steeped in passion.
We didn’t look into each other’s eyes,
because the darkness held all control.
Both of us knew that the time had come,
for us to close that mysterious gap.
You caressed my face and kissed my neck,
you kissed my lips and magic happened.
Our bodies were electrified, our souls caught fire,
and your kiss sent chills all over my body.
My heart was beating faster and faster,
my body was yours and nothing else mattered.
I guess I couldn’t take the energy that surged,
from your body Into my soul.
When you kissed me again, I came to my senses.
My body went into some sort of shock,
the moment felt real, but I knew it was not.
So I told myself to wake the **** up!
When I opened my eyes, I was back in my bed,
covered in sweat, and eyes wide open.
Heart still beating incredibly fast,
while my spirit slumbered in widespread shame.

Darling one what have you done
Walking in a forest barefoot
You once wore the sun
But now your dimmer and just seem to run
You told me to be patient, to understand
But my moon, Why do you walk like your not coming back

I weeped for you
Deprived of energy, of hope
My love, you do not speak
hollow, like you cant swallow

My darling one, in the moment of finding your self i have lost mine..

And i weep under the moon that you so dearly seek on nights you so dearly rest
I never thought of you do be
An entity with red eyes
My heart trembles
Was it something i did?,
Desperate for you return
To hold me
Kiss me
Talk to me
Love me
But, i ended with a feeling of despair

And tomorrow my darling one,
On another cold night  
I will not weep
Ill take the bitter pill
And I will string my broken heart
In the dark
And wait in my sleep

he was smiling
and we were laughing
and then he was gone.

there was a loud noise
that made my ears ring.
I didn't realize what
had happened, but
I knew it was bad.

I ran as fast as I could.
I didn't look back.

my legs burned
but I knew that I
had to keep running,
no matter what.

I burst through the
door to our apartment,
panting and crying.

my family stared at me
and it took me a minute
to understand why.

I went to wipe my tears
with the back of my hand,
and the liquid was red.

those weren't my tears.
that wasn't my blood.
the realization hit me
like one punch after another.

a random car had
pulled up next to us.
my friend's brother was shot.
I was standing next to him.
I ran. he wasn't behind me.

as my fear faded,
my memory became clearer.
the realizations that hit
my mind must have
punched my stomach too.
I was suddenly sick.

my ***** coated our kitchen floor
and my family took me into
our bathroom to clean myself up.

my friend and his brother
had known me since I was born.
I grew up with them.
I would continue growing,
but now he wouldn't.

I watched as his blood
blended with the water
in our apartment's shower.
I watched as it swirled
down the drain until
the red was all gone.

my last memory of
the kid I grew up with
is watching his blood swirl
down my shower drain.

it's been years since that day.
I've grown up. I moved out
of the city a long time ago.

it's over. he's gone.
there is nothing I can do,
and there was nothing
that I could have done.

but somehow, I still feel guilty
for washing him off of me.

There’s construction on the way to therapy
I detour my own way
Ignoring the glaring orange signs
I know better I think

Swerving in and out of neighborhoods
Not paying close enough attention
I’m keenly aware of bikers, animals and children in yards
I fear being the driver

I don’t know where I’m going but I end up at the office anyway
Twisting and turning until I just
Arrive

I tell her
I’m sorry but my thoughts won’t be linear
My brain is no longer working
Or at least not working like it was
Before things were logical,
linear
Straight
Frustratingly narrow
Packed up into wooden boxes
Splintering my hands when I try to move around

Now things are split open
Wrecked into a circle of pulp,
strips
sharp edges
disconnected

My thoughts roll out in many directions
Following things that are folded
Slinking
Out forward and backwards
And ultimately ending up back
Inwards

I know there’s no signs I can follow
I’m under construction
It will be a long time until
I see a freshly paved road
With a street and no bumps