I am in a mental state where I feel as if I am constantly drowning.
My life doesn’t seem to be going straight but constantly rounding
In circles with problems that continue to keep happening
It’s like my guardian angle is just sitting there pointing and laughing
I can’t catch a break for it’s just constant destruction
Demolition day needs to be over and my goals no longer under construction
Every time I move forward I am thrown back five steps back
I don’t know where to go from here all I know is  I’m not ready for what’s next
Good, bad, or indifferent it doesn’t really matter
For whatever happens next I will watch it be shattered
My life is a nightmare that I can’t wake up from
this will continue to be my life for the years to come

I raised my hopes amazed
From dust to package and ******
Blinded by charms into your arms
Forced to watch now without affecting the how
Twisting restlessly beneath sea
Doesn't matter if they scatter or drop and shatter
Heard them fall and not hurt at all
Crashing is nothing new in fact it's why I grew
Another crack won't cause a heart attack
If my hopes weigh too much that's okay
Let them go to be swept below
I will pick up the pieces and use glue to stick
Until every single hope I own is ready to once again fly

Hearts are not crystals
But still they shatter.
A heart has no brains
But tears it often rains.
Hearts have no eyes
But still detect lies.
So what exactly are hearts?
The Cardiac Paradox.