They say that love hurts,
But it's the pain that tears us in parts.
Unable to make if it's a memory
Or nightmare, we see silhouettes of ourselves in the dark.

She pleaded and cried no,
All that fell deaf into his ears.
He wrecked her, in his spirit reckless
Like torn petals she was drenched in her blood.

Her fights in vain,
Her resilience silenced.
Pinned against her will,
Like a picture hung on the wall
She laid there as he armoured.
Down it hurt like a weapon ******,
Her eyes welled with pain and hate,
In muffled screams she cursed the beast-
No cry or plea helped his haste.

Her hand reached out to the knife she was mugged,
Slit his throat and blood gushed out.
Then he lost and succumbed to the ground,
Stained with blood she could now gasp for breath.

birds of a feather
no one has put

two and two
together

daisies gone
Occam’s razor

and he
our common denominator

no monsters under his bed
but in it

scars ripped open
I thought had healed

hurt to heal
heal to hurt

words I had never spoken
out loud before

hot lava
righteous anger

memory loss &
found negatives

was that a kindness?
to ply me with alcohol so that I wouldn't remember?

two weeks
no sleep no eat

hurt to heal
heal to hurt

a new hurt
to contend with

suddenly ghosted
back in the dark

like all dark
eating away at light

till only the stars remain
maybe signalling

to one another
I see you, I see

you, I
see

one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.

He told me we were hanging out with a group
but he came up to my door alone
said the others couldn’t make it.

I said okay and we went to the moonlight playground
as he poured ***** down my throat.
my body was urging the poison back out
as I cried. I ran and I sprinted
but the fence seemed enclosing
I was stuck in a nightmare all I had were the stars.

after that night I didn’t like stars as much.
alone I lay there in the wet brown grass
rain joining my teardrops I couldn’t see
I couldn’t scream. When I thought it was over
people started looking at me. they thought
I was the ***** and he just hit it and quit it.

Haunted by a vampire
draining truth down my throat
I lost all pieces of myself
offering my roaring willpower to him

the sweat of his touch infiltrates
my defenceless skin
but I didn’t scream
his ****** hands dragging as if I were *** on wheels.

and one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.

There is fear behind your whispers,
But understanding in my ears.
Sometimes.
Empathy is turning off the “do not disturb.”

Tonight I turn it off for you

Call me.
Any time❤️

Why did i think you could do no wrong?
I was utterly convinced you’d always protect me.
Little did i know you were secretly the monster i feared.
Living with this constant question of
Is it abuse if they love you? if you love them?
Am i ever going to heal from this?
Maybe one day i’ll have my answer(s).

~

People like to ask a lot of questions, their
Invasive prying has me feeling violated all over again.
Eager to learn the details of one of the most painful nights of my life.
Tell me again what you’d have done differently, when you should be
Reveling in the fact that you can’t relate.
Only one person is to blame for what happened and that’s him.

as long as I don't talk about it , then
it never happened.

what makes you feel granted
manhandling my memories
stirring up my experience
diagnosing with no credentials
gaslighting feelings of fear
forcing to question what happened
mind entering a storm
chaos now runs free roam
flashbacks and dreams
dialogue and overwhelming voices
speaking over another
talking me into a box
leaving me there alone
he pulls the chain around it
and imprisons me with a lock

my teeth chatter when I’m anxious
body starts to shake
hands begin to clench
skin feels wave of heat
and I start to feel faint
stomach tells me I’m in danger
heart throbbing in concert with a clock
my face emotionless and stale
as I try to mask what puts me in more danger
of not feeling collected and vulnerable
trusted if I break a sweat they’ll see
make a sudden movement and touch
touch my soft skin marked with scars
I question which body part is next
as I sit in a freezing shock
that limits my movement
ability to think
and speak
as hands go and *****
I scream so loud
but nobody hears me
I am silent
lips unmoved
internal thoughts crying
there is so much to say
but I can’t get myself to speak
and I want those ***** hands off
but I can’t seem to move
body paralyzed
I start unpacking this to the darkness
never to be opened for my safety
throwing away the feelings
destroying what it felt like
is better than keeping it alive
so please
don’t touch me like that