I was born.
I was born male.
I was born white male.
I was born white, male Caucasian.
I was born white, male Caucasian in a Republic.
I was born white, male, Caucasian, in a First World Republic.
I was born white, male, Caucasian, in a First World Republic,
     in a large, loving family.

I was born white, male, Caucasian, in a First World Republic,
     in a large loving family, and I'll never work as a talking head.
Why, tell me, do all the others have all the luck.

I used to know you,
You used to know me,
I was told to hold you higher.
You were told I pushed you down.

I am a Slave Owner,
That must make you my slave,
Or so I am told.
Or so you are told.

I am entitled and in charge,
You are oppressed and left to discard,
Or so you tell me.
Or so I tell you.

I may speak freely,
You may only speak with permission,
So why must I bite my tongue?
So why do you shout at my sons?

When I go left I am a hero, a champion.
When you go right you are a trader to your kin.
You tell me I hate.
They tell you to hate.

I want to know you as I have before.
You say you know enough.
My canvas is blank, you've taken my brush.
I say the portrait you paint is unfamiliar to me.

You tell me to hush.

I have a micropenis...
And it really doesn't ****
As much as I thought it would
Mainly cause no girl wants
An imaginary ***** going anywhere
Near them, I mean they have ******
For that.

So I'm suing every ***** company
For making products that promote
A false sense of self worth and an
Incredibly over-inflated beauty standard
That is all but impossible to ever live up
To: basically anything larger than 0.5cm
is up for grabs.
(Except mine-- which is never grabbed)

Wanna hear a sexist double standard?
Girls have the "itty bitty ***** committee"
But guys have no "teeny weeny peeny task force"
Le sigh~ ***** to ****
Or to never at all

This land is your land,
This land is my land.

This land is our land,
But Not a black land,

Not from sea to shining sea.

Attention Mexicans everywhere!

This land is not your land,
This land is our land,
Home of the free!
(Some requirements apply)

God bless America,
Where at least I know I'm free,
Home of the ignorant,
Yet land of the free,
(Skin color based exceptions)

Happy Happy new Year!
New year to You and Me!

Happy Happy new year,
Except for your country,
(Build the wall!)

Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel,
I made it out of clay,
If the makers Muslim,
Please don't explode I pray.

Lastly,
America the beautiful,
As hypocritical dumpster fires tend to be.

My body is a temple
My bleeding is divine
My womanhood is spiritual
In ways that an intolerant devotee like you cannot understand
So when you barr me from entering Sabarimala
Remember that you can't stop a goddess
Saraswati is wise but her rage is wild and merciless
Lakshmi will create earthquakes that will devastate
Durga will pierce your heart with her spear
Parvathi will leave her abode and run into the streets
Kali will destroy you in unimaginable ways
They reside within us
We will cut our feet on your shattered glass
We will shout till our voices become hoarse
An army of neglected women will create a tsunami
Till you're on your back, crying
Till you give up your apparent 'religion-saving'
Helpless, wailing
And bleeding