My bed’s a mess,
no reason to tidy it up,
don’t feel like tucking the corners in,
losing control and losing respect,

once the trust is gone,
what good is a relationship,
yeah we’ve all got skeletons in our closets,
only difference is you haven’t let yours out yet,

who am I to her,
just some one to see when she’s not fcking guys,
what am I to her,
just some place where she can run away and hide,

is our time together just meantime,
are we just spending time in the meantime,
until she finds a richer man,
or a more generous guy,

after all what more can I offer her,
other than these four walls I humbly call home,
other than a shoulder for her to cry on,
a friend to fill that space in her heart when she feels alone,

and I know she’s using me,
it’s all way too painfully obvious,
but I let her use me because I deserve to be used,
I guess this is what karma is,

payback,
for every woman I ever neglected,
since way back,
when I was a young punk that didn’t respect ****t,

but I’ve grown up,
more than just a little bit,
I’ve grown up,
just look at all my accomplishments,

I’ve got a home in California now,
and a beautiful California King bed,
but what good is a big bed,
if you don’t even take the time to make it,

my bed’s a mess,
no reason to tidy it up,
don’t feel like tucking the corners in,
losing control and losing respect,

once the trust is gone,
what good is a relationship,
yeah we’ve all got skeletons in our closets,
only difference is you haven’t let yours out yet…

∆ LaLux ∆

The New Book Is FREE Here: www.scribd.com/document/367036005

I don't know what it is to
live a balanced life.
For I tear at the seams,
and live in extremes.

When happiness embraces me,
I do not smile
But become the sun;
that glows, shine and gleams.

When sadness enwraps me
I don't drizzle, I rain
I become the hurricane of blue,
the abyss of the starless sky;
I become the void.

When anger smolders me;
I don't yell, I burn out my sanity
I become the boiling blood
and the explosion of heat.

When loss deprives me
I do not grieve, I do not tarnish
I break, shatter and tear
I become the heart that does not beat but bleeds.
I become the wailing wind that breezes through the cypress trees.

I am either cold like Vinson Massif
or soft like a marshmallow
For I am the one who experiences no in between.

You have to be careful because I’m a delicate little flower
If you raise your voice
I’ll probably cry
And my petals will get torn
Because the sound of your voice holds a gale force wind
And my hands are too weak to hold on

If I cry that must mean I’m weak right?
Because that’s what crying is it’s weakness leaking out of my eyes
And causing my hands to shake with every breath I push out of my body and every word that comes from my trembling lips sounds like a whisper.

Speaking of whisper you have to be quiet too
All of yours words to me must sound
Like a soft hum
Because as soon as I hear storm clouds come from your mouth
The rain will come from my eyes and fall to ground
At my feet
I can feel the rumble of your voice beneath me
And it makes my heart pound in my ears
And it’s all too loud for a scared little rabbit like me

If I run away that must mean I don’t have the strength to face anything
I probably fall apart like the fabriage egg I crushed in my hand from Piere one Imports when I was a kid (it was an accident) and there’s no way to put me or that egg back together.
Because we are both so **** fragile that one angry glare can cause a crack in me and break everything that I am

I am fragile but I have glue to put myself back together whenever I need to
I cry but I will not let the tears stop me from letting my voice be heard
I can hear thunder in the distance and stand my ground
I am sensitive but I am not weak
Even something as delicate as a flower has thorns

one of the biggest ironies
is how insensitive
sensitive people can be.

we wear our feelings
on our sleeves
and lash out for small things.

in defending our honor
we refuse to acknowlege
that others matter.

we feel strongly
and so won't
empathize, wrongly

assuming that our pain
is greater than yours
which makes it hard to mantain

any kind of relationship.
so please don't
try to start friendships

with us alright?
we may seem
nice but we bite.

your happiness is my joy
your grief, my burden

I laugh when you laugh
I cry beside you

When you are angry, I lash out
I panic when you are anxious

but is it you or me?
and does it matter?

I am only built for my own emotions...

they say my heart is too sensitive but what do they expect from an artist ? we feel everything so deeply, we consume every emotion so later we can transfer that onto a piece of paper. Do not praise our artwork if you can’t keep up with our mental.

my heart is so tired
I'm losing my voice
and bleeding out

kindness is a target for evil
disheartening doesn't begin to define this ache in my chest
maybe this is how it felt when they drove the nails into Jesus's hands

the only things that keep me breathing
are full of toxins
unfortunately, there are no warning signs of toxins that provide the fix I seek.

my manifesto is to mean what I say
do what I promise
more importantly it is to love.
I've learned that love is the ultimate sacrifice.

this world needs those of us who feel deeply and communicate effectively.  
a "friend" doesn't cut ties over something petty
a lover doesn't leave you because something is alleged to be true.

as a feeler, this will make sense to you.
if you are not comprehending this or not feeling a tug in your chest, go home, lay down and think about times in your life when you felt overlooked. really go back to that moment and feel it.

when you feel it, now know that other person is feeling that because of your actions.

love & art 1991,

henk holveck

Shrouded in darkness
In my mother's keep.
She whispers to me,
"Beauty is only skin deep."

As I twist and turn
Inside this black womb,
Light peeks in;
I'll be born soon.

Into blinding light I cry.
"A girl with sass!"
Some guy wails,
As he smacks my ***.

As my mother feeds me
Men gasp at her *******.
She holds me close,
"Don't listen to these pests."

I am small
With big bright eyes,
He sneaks in
And forces life long lies.

I am growing
Parts of me are too.
And I try to listen to mother,
But I'm falling for fools.

"When you're afraid,
Just say no."
Mother never said
A guy would refuse to let go.

Smile.
Look pretty.
Blame other girls.
Blame yourself.

Things mother never said.
But when I feel threatened,
They run through my head.

A woman's worth is skin deep between her thighs.

It's something my mother would never say.
But the world has made me feel this way.