Eyes were bright and strong,
a fire.
But those words,
they turn the sharpest wit a flicker.

You ever see much esteem in the world?
Here, at the height of the ornamented, luxurious actress,
representing the varied arts of impersonation.
Here, attention before the other side of the story.

Follow the symbolic whiskey whisper.
Gently evade the central thought of the world,
so
tragically human.

Scattered across my bedroom floor,
glimmers of light staccato on wilted rose pedals

Memories of us, 
the faintest slapback of the person I was with you,
flicker with lethargic buoyancy 

Fondness for fondness sake,
denial as a delicacy

Your face, obscured in these floral polaroids
Impressions of who you were;
what you meant to me,
a struggle to behold
but recognizable in ripples across the faces of others

Remains of an entanglement that seemed to answer
why the universe was even formed to begin with

This omnipresent truth laying abed the other
jagged reality of our affair;
it was never you,
it was my self-possessing pursuit of wholeness

Poor bitter lonely boy
Open your eyes wider
Poor bitter lonely boy
Take them away from the viewfinder
Poor bitter lonely boy
Stop living your life through a camera
Poor bitter lonely boy
Come out from your shelter
There is so much more outside the frame
Your view isn't the only one that matters

Silence
is
peaceful
silence
is
digestion
and
understanding

Silence is love

Melt into this
Beautiful
Ultimate
Calmness

Within a moment
Seek
Understanding
Seek
Revelation

Reflection scares me
The
Truth
It
Emulates
Is

Frietening

Breathtaking

Burdening

Lie
Lie to me

Who cares about me. I don't.

Blinded by the mirror
I realize I care
I care about connection. I care about achievement as a collective

Unity and selflessness are the only fulfillment
I
could seek

How utterly selfish
How utterly unselfish

The action and desire together

Both

Opposite

Seek to find selflessness
To fulfill ones self

The shimmer doesn't scare me anymore

I am repugnant
Repulsive

Light that comes back to me

From this

Portal of intense reality

Just sits inside

Unusable to me

Cursed by ego

I wither into a corner
To steep in my stench.

I can live like this
I have for years.

Luckily I'm not alone in a corner

Others steeping in their ****.

We are all to weak to come together

Stop moping
It makes us weaker

Stupidly we can't see that. And just mold and rot away in our dungeons.

The Obstacle

She begins with a tight grip as any pirate would cling to a treasure found. But you are a wild horse who cannot live in containment and though you try, she knows you want to gallop your way out of the tiny fence she built. Derived by her hurting pride, she pushes you away. She acts so cold and uptight as though she does not need you but she terribly does. She torments herself in your absence and make believe in the new life she is building; a happy life free of her attachment from you. Her heart yearns for you and your company but you’ll never know. She’s a great actress and she puts up a great show effortlessly. She’s had practice as early as childhood, she has done this for years.

The Grip

Fate favors your friendship once again. You find your way into each other’s arms because life happens. You are stronger and wiser now, you do not let the small smudges ruin a beautiful picture. In this moment, you are certain to keep this friendship forever. In fact, she no longer sees you as a friend. You are family. She accepts your toxic traits as you have accepted hers. She picks you up from your mess as you do to her. Her father left her when she was young, she felt betrayed and she only knew the feeling of betrayal until there was you. Even when you betrayed her once. You were her constant though she wasn’t yours. She believes you both have ****** families and you are now her rock. Often times when she feels she is losing you, she goes back to the beginning of the cycle until she feels the same security again and again and again. She tightens her grip on you now as she thinks you cannot lose her. She has stood by you and you will stand by her. Always. Constant.

The Reckoning

She is delighted when you are happy but she feels threatened when your happiness turns into something serious. She needs to make sure that she is constant. It is important. She needs to be constant no matter how many people comes into both of your lives. She feels that it is her responsibility to make sure you are with the right person and she will not accept anyone less than perfect. Like a mother giving away her child to the person they are fated to love, she is having the hardest time. But she is not your mother, she is only your friend and her actions will never be understood. She is possessive of the people she loves when she feels the same love back even if it is not in the same amount. People that love her are her treasures. She will cling to them like any pirate would. She will repeat her cycle of push and pull over and over and over only to feel important. She always told people to love themselves fiercely as though she did not struggle to love hers. Finally, the day came where exhaustion conquered love. She blames her heart, her need for attachment and her illusion of constants.

I'd love if I could tell,
That I wish you well,

But, (and there's always butts)

Any wish I have to pay for,
I reserve to myself.