we kissed once in the backseat
of a dull yellow taxi with
love in our suitcases and mouths

then, another in the backstreets of brooklyn
as the boys hooted at us and whistled
hollering under their hoops

"****, y'all lookin' fine"
and we raised our middle fingers
like it was a salute to the gods

i know this is overused
it feels like just yesterday but
years have passed in a blink

perhaps i am just selfish
but i have yet to move on
i still cannot ride a taxi alone

hope sits silently and oh, how it watches
silently from the seat across from me
clinging to what is left of me

I

I hear nothing from you
No just a text to say hi
Or even a how you doing ?
But then ....***.....
That's all
So you think
that will get me to respond
Sorry ....
I spent 7 yrs lovin' you
Still do
Sorry ....
I'm to expensive
You can't afford me
I need a how r you
A thinking about you
At least once in awhile
Cause , I'm worth it
So go *** yourself
Sorry.....
© J DeLong 2/3/21

the little fragments of our memories
fills me up as its hard to miss.

the silent confirmation only we can understand;
reminds me of how you hold my hand.

when we meet eye to eye,
its like looking at the wide blue sky.

how you utter with such softness
makes my heart speak though it cannot express.

however a clandestine should not last;
it must always stay in the past.

a secret like this should go astray
for it will perish as it's fey.

nevertheless, I'll still cherish
every moments even if I have to be selfish.

Woe is me
The satan of earth
I come bearing gifts of knowledgeable ignorance
And weep with tears by seeing my predictions come true

Woe is me
The one who thought only about himself
And neglected to see the other
The one with a heart vulnerable and ready to be stabbed

Woe is me
Because when others hurt I feel pain too
But I repeat this cycle constantly
Of hurting me
and in turn
You.

You will think me cruel, very selfish, but love is always selfish; the more ardent, the more selfish. You must come with me, loving me, to death; or else hate me, and still come with me, and hating me through death and after.