It is not
the Tree,

...it is,

-Me.

I see. . .

When you look deeply into yourself you may be able to see that there is, in this moment, a quality of aliveness that is animating you that is not philosophical and is not abstract. It's independent of what you think about it, what you believe about it and what you feel about it. It's always there! it is animating your breath, It is coursing the spirit, it is what makes it possible for you to think and speak and see and hear.
                                
                               This is the Invisible Touch.

Let's pretend to
be someone we
can escape from
the reality and
live in the world
we dream always
play our own roles
disobey what
others ask for
carry on write
our own Fiction.

Detached.
A stranger standing
In front of me.
Extrinsically scrutinizing
This figure staring back at me.
Eyes dead like a corpse
An expression of no remorse.
How did I get here!
Here, I stare.
I stare at a reflection I don't endorse.
Startled by who stands before me.
This is not who I want to be.

My current situation is not my destination
But preparation filled with painful and loving situation.flawless perfection, forgiving expectations. Designed preparation  built for Greatness.

Can't sleep without it
can't live with it either
beautiful pleasure and guilt,
that lingers each time
I close my mouth, eyes wide. Shut

it's not that I love it
it loves me more than I have it
brings me close with it's claws
tears unfold while it goes
and I don't ,

I don't want to do this anymore .

silent prayers to the gods that I'd let it go
and mercies to my mother that she'd never get to know,
her little baby is no more.

All is left is shame ,flying high
with the hope
that no one ever knows
and that these walls forever more,
keep a secret or watch it all unfold.

I spent my life trying to solve the puzzle called Life
I went to sages, read books, argued with philosophers
Life was still a mystery
The more efforts I made - the more the answer alluded me
This obsession occupied my life
I lost all friends, my family got estranged
I was ready to end my life
As I sat down to be with myself before ridding myself of this burden
I breathed the last few breaths and an epiphany struck me…
Life was not a puzzle - it was simple, repetitive, infinite
The real puzzle was ME