I wrote a poem long ago
As an assignment for class
It was the first I was proud of
That feeling didn't last
It captured something
That rarely I'd place
An ever-present
Mask on my face
It was written there
Now lost forever
A truth I knew
Would bring me no pleasure
Titled "Masquerade"
I thought that was clever
Even used three words
To put rhyme to those letters
It was whole and it was tragic
Though I wrote it stone-faced
Turned it in, to the teacher
With no smile or grace
That page was Rumplestiltskin
Its lines gave form
To thoughts never shared
Within my brain's storm
The poem was an answer
From the hand that wrote it
To a baffled 12-year-old
Who couldn't control it
She gave it back to me
Along with an A
That I stuffed in my pack
And lost the same day

all that you are;

is all that you?

this is all that,

and that is all.

Something happens for you
something changes,
a part of your power
a part of your abilities
a part of you

when you’re faced with truth,
and choice,
when moving from known
into uncertainty

and in the face of this
adversity,
you lose a part of
yourself.

The smoke
it hangs low,
a weight in my lungs
like the feeling in my soul

the forests
burn themselves,
and out of destruction,
the new growth is born,
like us

be born again,
let my love
nourish & caress you
scars and all

rise to the
challenge
when fear beckons

lay your heavy head
and tired mind
in my lap
and let your tears
of sadness,
and longing
flow in the space between my legs

let go.

and like that,
I will hold you
& show you the
promises I won’t
break

let me reveal
my inner corners
as you show me yours,
and prove to you
how tender I will be
with your delicate
heart

resist the temptation
& give into me
instead

make love to me.

lay your lips
on mine
& slip yourself
into the space
between my hips

let me show you
true ecstasy,
let the arch of
my back
show you what
words can’t

let our bated breaths
& escaping moans
be our solemn vow
that fear
will
never
rule here
again

let your fingers
get tangled in my hair
as your heart beats
against mine,
as a reminder of what
is ours

have courage
& fervour
to hold on,
when fear
taunts you to let go,
when it smirks
because the intensity
almost burns,
& your soul bleeds
and your bones ache
& your
will is
tested

in these dark moments,
find strength in me

because something happens for you
something changes,
a part of your power
a part of your abilities
a part of you

when you’re faced with truth,
and choice,
when moving from known
into uncertainty,
when you’re
fearless.

Sometimes
this is only a human word
meaningless in reality
I am always now
not in the now
cuz now just is

The words come
the thoughts come too
feelings
emotions
they come
then go

Free?
Free is creating
the universe of which you exist
there is only living
and the mind

There are different ways
various practices
everything goes to the same end
the beginning

a person - family
community - nation
and world missteps and seems
to be forever off-track
even being here
one becomes lost
the appearance of being lost
the sense one is lost and blind
yet still one is here

There is a hard way
and an easy way
a long way
and a short way
complicated and simple
there isn’t time
only now is real
so only now one must see
this is the easy short and simple way
to reach the beginning at the end

Thinking for myself was one of the first things I did.
I had original thoughts.
It was like *******.
Done alone, in silence. Easy and reliable.
If help was necessary,
There was a pictorial in National Geographic;
Last years Christmas Catalogue,
Or Supergirl,
Flying skyward with one knee cocked.
To think was to develop, to grow into maturity.
Best results were achieved by turning off.
That's hard to do, but doable.
Unplug your podcast ears;
Turn down the Foxbits;
Start your own Blog.
We can think for ourselves
To avoid Jihads, insurrections and revolutions,
Unless,
We think them necessary to clear our heads.

If I had it my way, I would leave myself behind.

Hindi sa ayokong maging masaya
Hindi sa ayokong makaahon sa lusak
na iba ang nagdala
Guni guni, pilit pinaniniwala ang sarili
yan ang akala nila.

May mabuti kang pamilya,
ilang daang tropa
magandang suporta

Sabi ng lipunan,
madali lang sumaya,
gumalaw ka, sumayaw ka,
sumulat ka ng kanta.

Hindi nila wari lahat yan ay akin ng ginawa

Depresyon ay hindi kathang isip.
Minsan parang langgam kukurot sa iyong isipan,
madalas sya ay halimaw, lalamunin ka sa madilim **** mga araw.

paano paano yan ang tanong nila.
mukha ka namang masaya, halakhak ang dala sa tuwing kasama ka nila.

ngunit di nila alam,
sa likod ng mga biro,
ay lungkot ang pinagmulan
sa likod ng mga tawa,
ay mga sigaw "ang sakit sakit na!"
sa likod ng mga talon at palakpak  
ay mga iyak na di maikubli ng aking kasaralinlan
kung pwede lang
kung maari lang
araw araw hiling ko lang ay
makaahon sa kalungkutan

kung tatanungin ako ulit,
wala kong kasagutan.
Hindi sa ayoko ng kasagutan,
hindi sa ayoko lunasan.

Hindi ko lang talaga maahon ang sarili sa bangungot na patuloy sumisira ng aking laban.
Wag nio ko husgahan,
sinubukan ko,
binigay ko ang kaya ko
pero kapag nakikita ko na ang panalo
bigla na lang ulit  itong lalayo

ngaunit hanggang andito ako,
hanggat nakikipaglaban ako alam ko
sa sarili ko may pag asa pa ako.
at ikaw rin!
alam kong malalim ang pinanggalingan
alam kong ilang beses mo ding sinubukan
alam kong palagay mo kamatayan na lang ang huling alas mo
MALI
Hindi ito ang magpapatumba sayo.
Hindi ang halimaw na ito ang tatapos ng laban mo.
Sa bawat pagdapa, sa bawat gasgas
sa bawat pagsubok ng isa pa
lahat yun napagtagumpayan mo na.
kung hanggang kelan hindi ko alam
ang mahalaga sa bawat araw na binibgyan ka ng pag asa
andun ka buhay ka lumalaban ka.
Walang tiyak ang bukas
pero wag lang mag alala
HINDI KA NAG IISA

Oh how you speak to me through the music of others,
I then practice this pattern and continue
to preach,
how I am feeling in this way, and on this day,
when I'm at a loss for words or thought
and cannot figure out what to say,
you beseech me to begin healing,
I begin peeling, no
pulling back the surface of my soul,
hoping it will be the start of getting rid of this toll,
as painful as it is to look inside your own mind,
your broken and beaten down spirit,
desperately just trying to find guidance in
hopes that maybe one day you'll be loved
and seen as more than just,
Just another body walking amongst the
rest of mankind,
because you allow yourself to feel that
you are different,
Yet your mind continues to stay ignorant
and blind,
to your already keen eye,
for you are special, it's only a matter of
time before you realize
you're the one you've been wanting to feel
loved by,
Something that can only be seen beyond the surface of
others eyes,
And past these creatures terribly,
beautiful minds.