Live by our actions
They'll see who we are
But when they're never askin'
Who's gonna raise the bar?

They'll see our good?
An attempt, I'll admit
But you're foolin' yourself
You're nothin' but a hypocrite.

What makes us better?
"Holier than thou"?
We've never been loud
So go on, take your vow.

Actions speak louder than words
Except when those actions don't speak
So give those motions a voice
And be there for those who seek.

Even though you’d search six feet under the ground
It’s never deeper than this hole in my heart
You can’t patch this up with stumbling apologies
And misguided avalanche of cracked voice

Where in the forests
You can read the words I etched in every trees you’d walk in
And you’d wonder if ever it’s meant for you
But then I know you’d figure it out, I know you’ll know
It’s meant for you and you alone

You can’t drown yourself on the ocean by falling in
Just because I jump through it like a winged mermaid
They said I could finally breathe after having to swim
But when you told me, “Stay”
Everything went high tide again

So, would you wait for me by the shore?
While I’m away in the vast depth of the ocean
Cascading in the midst of storm every time you try to be my achor
Sailing across the unbeknownst ?

Would you tell me how you loved the whispers and hushes
Of the wind that runs a distant rhythm and the leaves that stutter together?
Wold you go to the north and west where dense forest lie in a valley with mountains
Full of birds mimicking the way you sound when you said my name?

How shall I hymn you,

majestic presence? Shall I

be the wide sea, and

weep, overcome in your vastness?

or, evaporate, seeking you?

To dark ends my path leads me,
Passing scary turns and corners,
I don't see the end, and I know they're bad,
But still I follow, still I walk.

That ravenous thirst of something I'll never find,
That foolish rejection of that something even when I find it...

"Groan"

That feeling of hiding sadness behind a smile,
A thousand sorrows behind a laugh...

Cliche

All I can do is wait,
Wait for a miracle...

Or give up,
And live life a zombie...

*"Smiles*"

You gave dusk
A whole new meaning.
The coming of darkness
Has become my greatest
Most terrifying fear
The one that knocks
On the door
At the end of every day
And that creeps past the threshold
Welcome or not.
And it all become a game
Of hide and go seek
As I run from the pain
Cower from the emotion
Flee from the memories.

                                              tsk

Wrap the shawl of twilight
Around your shoulders tonight

Come out and play
Hide and seek
In the cemetery

Stand still as a stone
Don't you even breathe
Lest your pressence now
Will give your self away

Dash from tree to tree
Then stone to stone
And all along the way
You're humming nonsense  songs
No complaints or so now they say

See the orange and weary moon
Raise his orbic head
Saying something , not quite sure
He's muttering to the dead

There is no sound , none what be
Except your beating heart
Evening's mist drearily insists
Not a soul here shall depart

we all seek the truth
walking around blindly
but we cannot find the truth
until we find ourselves
truly.

I’ve got five minutes
Then I must leave my verdant patch
On the skirt of a wind-rustled lake
hidden behind Logan's Roadhouse

Five minutes
to mentally finger with the fetal position
In which I awoke this morning,
there as the sun drew long shadows,

I, a diminutive daub of nautilus,
On a California King,
rippled plane of sand,
Sporadic shivers, beneath a chenille blanket

I, the town crier of dawn as
My own dreams ran screaming through the silence
Pointing a finger at
my sanctuary… “Here is your pearl thief!”

Men in hats, briefcases, heel-toe black clicky and shiny shoes
on leashes lugged,
Yanked by noisy hounds passing by
stop, sniff, snarl-toothed *******…

then one caught my scent,
“Five minutes more sleep,” I implored
"Find another dreaming fleshy mess of bones!"
And leave me to my pearl.

But it’s a universe that simply will not wait
And suffer fools for sleepers,
not a moment more
Yet for my many sleepless minutes after,

Dusk till dawn, and still beyond,
it’s always,
                  five
         minutes
more

Oddly enough, my first conversation with God (I call, for lack of it's true name) came as I began dating a non-believer. I recognized the voice, so I carried along,

She's onto something.
Think so?
Know so. She's onto something all of you should know.
How many of us do know?
Not nearly enough.
A great deal then, that I want nothing but all of her.
And think.. what to want, when you lose her?
I'd prefer not to ponder.

Our second came as any might expect. I took to the call,

Hey. Floating around still? How's the kids?
Humor is a fine coping mechanism.
Oh no, just the opposite.
I didn't believe I'd need to know. I didn't want to. You know?
I know.

The third came a year after,*

Is it too late to give my answer?
When is it ever too late for answers?
Never and always.
After it all, I really just don't know.
But I want to, and the world as my partner I will try to.
I don't think knowing is the point, you know?
I know. And it's splendid that you think so.
Now tell me, what is it you want for yourself?
You know, I don't know.
I thought so.

And right before the silence returned (as it always does), I could've swore I heard a whisper...

He's onto something.