DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, wonder for the above not the below:}


no cry

no baggage to fly

keep on stimulating the deny

or maybe the break that takes a taste a lie

over the clouds I'm high

don't know if I want to belong if I want to draw or die


                                                                                    ------ravenfeels

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with my past partners.
I think I’ve lied every time I said those words.
I think I was scared to admit it to myself,
But I think I love you.
I will never regret anything as much as I regret saying yes,
Then chickening out.
How different our lives would be had we kissed, had we touched.
I don’t think I’ve ever said “I love you”, and meant it.
Except to you.
I think you're my soulmate.
I think you’re meant to be mine.
I think I’m meant to be yours.
I think you're miserable with him.
I think you’d be happy with me.
I don’t think I’d ever be happy with anyone else.
But I am not a smart woman,
So what I think may just be my mind.
And I can never tell you what to do,
But I hope you see in my eyes my love for you.
I’m scared that if I ever told you,
Everything would change.
I’m scared I’d lose you again, and I’d die without you.
I don’t think I’ve ever understood someone more.
I don’t think anyone has ever understood me more.
If i decided to tell you, what would I say?
How am I supposed to apologize?
I think I’ll have to keep my mouth shut forever.
As long as you’re in my life, I can keep living.

there are secrets that I
have trouble admitting even for myself.
and less yet more than myself
admitting to others.
I can spill some dark secrets
some entirely perverse
damaging
degrading
killing
secrets and
yet there are some that I cannot
I cannot
even talk or think about
or imagine
and therefore I will not speak
you will not know.

If ever I was in trouble,
I could call you.
I was that day years ago,
In trouble waiting for you to rescue.

You never drove so fast in your life.
Even missed a couple classes with me.
We were mortified and I was devastated.

You held me while I cried.
You cleaned up the mess on the bathroom floor.
You put me to bed, literally.
You climb in my bed and held me more.

We never told a soul what happened that day.
Not even your cousin, my best friend.
We got caught by my dad,
Told him a complete lie.

We got lucky no one knew,
Yet I feel as it’s coming to haunt me.
My dreams are getting crazier and I’m hoping.
Hoping that who I’m seeing isn’t who I think it is.