A girl did often sit
bubbled in her wit
to keep her from his hands
and his darker plans
refusing to submit

Drunken nights he always tried
hunched over her bedside
she learned to just play dead
taking solace in her head
while her youth was crucified

In her bubble she did stay
never to go astray
too afraid to begin
awkward in her skin
no fresh air, just decay

It's hard here on the ground floor, surrounded by the street.
The scenery a still-frame, a cell set to repeat.
I don't see your colors now, that patch of blue's gone gray
I hear your laugh cut through crash of just another day
Time, again, finds us alone...
in the crushing nothingness of the crowds
I just want it to be gone
Want to shed my shadows among the clouds

It's quiet here in the recent past, reliving a silent beat,
An echo too weak to distinguish, yet still moving the Earth 'neath my feet.
Still the subtlety's hard to decipher, the nuance is lost in the stroke
I numb any phantoms that linger, the world is cloud of smoke.
And time and again, it pulls me through
Running headfirst into hell.
Full circle, it seems, in whatever I do
Stopping just this side of well.

It's fleeting here in so-called prime of this distraction known as living
And I haven't asked for more than I have, but I'm taking what they're giving.
A single spark in the midst of a fire doesn't seem to warm the soul
But that same small flame can change the game if you add a little coal
We're hardened now, by time and heat
The pressure's always on
But maybe, when our time's complete
We'll be diamonds before we're gone.

Silver boulder nestled upon the grass,
As the surface collects the sheer sunlight.
This stone retains the warmth which does not last,
While my fingers against the hard stone write.

The rock absorbs cold air upon nighttime,
Adapts to each climate it is within.
Diverse foliage surrounds all which doth chime,
Sounds of nature are to beauty akin.

I rest upon the stone, feeling the air,
A force which grasps like a warm and fond hand.
Sunlight filters through the sparse trees, so fair,
While some music cues in my head, unplanned.

This is my place—solace from all truth,
A place which does ignite my life, my youth.

Shelves, guarding me.
Books, keeping me company.
As I look through the window,
I long to have the wind brush me away
Like how the malunggay plants sway the day,
How the pine tree tricks me when it bends down,
And how the white butterflies gravitate like autumn leaves.
I wish to go outside
And make new friends
And waste whatever's left of me.
But this empty part of the library,
The only place that knows me,
Is where I meet with my best friend time,
And she is the only one to understand my rhymes.

Do crickets scream
Like a trapped firefly
Inside a glass jar,
Blinded by her own light,
Deaf to her own sound,
Needing the darkness for she might
Cave in with only herself around,
Or is it just Jiminy Cricket
I hear losing his singing voice
From the plant outside my room,
Telling me I must stay in this jar
Until I learn how not to
Love the light too much?

I am with you wherever you go. I
cannot be seen by anyone but you. I am
only around when you are weak - I am
the reason you must be strong. I am
familiar to those around you. I am uninvited,
but I have the key.
I come to life as the light is siphoned from your eyes. I am
anti-social and I hide away. I am
selfish - I want you to myself. I am
bleak when you have hope, I am
the reality piercing through your fantasy. I am
that bitter taste of regret as you swallow your pride. I am
the refilled prescription, I am
the angst against filling it. I am
the quiet in an open crowd. I am
the noise in your seclusion. I am
everything that you see no matter how far you go to escape.
I am your hopes and dreams - in the open for everyone to witness -
bursting into flames,
and you're forced to sit and watch.
I am the presence behind you waiting for you to fall.
No matter where you are,
I am with you wherever you go.

The entropy of the universe, microcosmic in this house
I can't control everything, I can't make you clean up
your cereal bowl
or stay out of my space
in the garage
I wish for a place
where every little thing has a niche
and every month or so, I get out a cloth
and dust

Maintaining entropy
Keep it at a steady level

I think
it's a known fact
most people with an
eating disorder
end up pulling away
and secluding
and closing off.
spending more time alone
and less time with
others.

what I don't think
is everyone knows
why
we do this

we're hiding
hiding from you
whoever you are
you are against us.
you are trying
to force the enemy
into our hands
and onto our plates
and into our mouths.

the more time I spend
around you
the more you will
notice.
notice the signs
and the loss
and the anger
and everything else
we so cautiously hide

but for me
anyway
seclusion was hiding
hiding from the enemy
protecting my guard
my so fragile confidence
what I felt
and how I saw myself.
the more I was around others
and the food-
God the food-
the more I realized I needed it

but in my heart
I didn't want it
so i hid
from my enemy
from myself
and from you

its dark in here

inside my box

nothing moves

noone talks

except for me

and to myself

it seems quite rough

but in the end

i always find

myself encased

in this seclusion

all alone

comfortably

uncomfortable

and maybe thats

my place for sure

till someone else

beats down the door

and lets me see

the light once more