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ShyAnne Mar 2021
Freedom of the things that shake me
I'm still stuck in the things that chain me
The hurt that broke and changed me
My heart breaks as they stare at me
Selfish and selfless
Broken and stolen
I drown myself out as I scream from the cage
I choke it down and add to my rage
Help them to save myself from me
It's so hard to be what they want me to be
I stay in my head controlled by my exoskeleton
Encased in a suit of skin that isn't mine
It's scars aren't my own
The voices whisper my disappearance
Cutting me and screaming
Hurting me and crushing my being
Six feet under or walking the earth
What does it matter if it always hurts
Sorry for the realistic drop...
Alexciya Feb 2021
The gurgle of the coffee maker,
The clink of your spoon on the frigid counter,
The sizzle of bacon residue in a frying pan,

and an egg cracking over it.

The murmurs of the news reporters on the tv,
The distant roar of a train in the background,
The dive into sensory pleasure,

while reality dissipates.

The smell of hazelnut creamer and cinnamon,
The taste of a waffle with buttery syrup,
The warm sun on your face through the window,

today is good; today will be different.

The giggles of the waffles and coffee,
The light conversation and hard laughter,
The feeling of home... within them,

a sudden shift in atmosphere.

The sharp loss of appetite
The grieving of what wasn’t lost
The shared remorse for nothing you’ve done

they tell you that you’re pathetic.

The despair in your mug dropping into the table
The swallowed tears and screams
The chaos that covers every square inch of you

distance between you and hope still stands.

The ***** kitchen and your empty stomach
The distressing moonlight that creeps in the window
The anger in thinking you’re liberated this time

sounds of an empty home stir.

The cold seats that have accompanied nobody
The wallowing roar of silence
The jacket of despair that wears you

your average day.
Calla Fuqua Dec 2020
I wish my tactile hallucinations would give me a massage,
A warm hug from my non-existent mother,
A kiss from my long distance boyfriend.

A twisted fairytale

My hallucinations
They know what I fear most
And they want me to be afraid
They feed off my terror
They get off on my sick brain
They know what torments me.
Arachnophobia’s favorite game to play
The spiders
Come out of
My skin
They’ve been waiting patiently
When I’m most vulnerable
When I’m isolated
When I’m helpless

I wish my tactile hallucinations would
**** me
I am not actually suicidal
I periodically Perpetuate
hurricanes all around me
manifesting my illusions
filled with anomalies
commonly I’m far from Common
as these evil forces
completely surround me
crashing down to rock-bottom
longing to no longer be lonesome
but my loneliness is caused
by my compulsions
such impulsive behavior
needs to get out of me, expulsion
creatively i creep
to seem casual and sane
To a world that’s corrupt
and crippled needing a cane
****** and staring
into the eyes of the truth
but with all this proof
we can’t find who is to blame
to some mentally
my mind it is unglued
broken into bits
from so much abuse
daily I’m terrified of torture
I feel like I’ve got nothing to lose
I’m black and blue
Just one giant bruise
Beaten and brought down to my knees
Reluctant to beg. I scream out please
No more
In my tears I’m drowning
A moment of silence as
You Playfully tease
But the kid with the magnifier
Doesn’t hear the ants screams
Only burns and burns
Until their is nothing left
But the shell of a man
Who’s life is a mess
I wish someone would just come and save me
Ashleigh Dec 2020
Can we talk about the walls
That I built to keep you out
They're crumbling
And they're fading
They can't keep the monsters out
The voices all remind me
That I'm nothing
But a home
For them and all the others
To never leave me alone
The flowers that I planted
Have all but wilted away
My walls are all gone
And I have nothing left to say
Lydeen Dec 2020
When I'm home alone,
I feel empty.
The circles under my eyes...
Bruises.
Wind carries through cracks,
Mice scratch scratch scratch scratch...

Something clatters.
Whispers?
Footsteps?!

And suddenly it's loud.
My heart pound pound pounds...
Adrenaline.
Anxiety.
Getting closer...
Quick! Grab a weapon!

I call out:
"Is someone there?!"
Silence.

And suddenly it is all quiet again.
Do you ever feel like you're being watched? Or that shadow in the corner of your eye... What if someday it's not a shadow?
SomeOneElse Nov 2020
I want to be a nice guy and a bad boy too
I want to have my way with you
yet be your servant too
I want to sweep you off your feet, I want to ravish you
I want to be your daddy dom and your prince charming too
I really want to be romantically naughty with you
I want to make you smile and blush, give ******* to you
I want to make sweet love to you and to ******* too
I want to be your bad boy and your nice guy too
Written and inspired by the feelings I have in
Anna Mink Oct 2020
You bide my time, and cleanse your mind, and board in damped corners of mine.
You fall asleep at the wrong time to rouse when gongs resound inside.
None be so scarred to sleep as he; let him emerge for me to see.
Here I am; I've won already. On my God, how are you doing?

~ A.M, F.H.
Edited & Published 21st of October 2020.
Written 20th of October 2020.
Philomena Oct 2020
I cant sleep
But if I lay very still
And close my eyes
I wont have to look upon the horror of my mind
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