I know he screams
I know he lies
He's practically the devil
Right there in disguise

But if that's the case
Then why is he here
Why have you loved him
For all of these years

Charmful and witty
You weren't prepared
So why'd you marry
Just to live your life scared?

“Good morning [redacted] high school!   Today we will be preforming our lockdown drill.”
“Please remember it is just a drill.”
Just a drill is what they say as if I’m not practicing what could very well
be the way I die
Just a drill this time but what about next?
You want me to hide in the corner
Quiet as a mouse
The lights turned out
Make it seem like we aren’t there
But we are
We are there
Being hunted
In a place we are meant to learn math
Not how to use a tourniquet
It is just a drill
But it wasn’t drill for other kid
The one who didn’t go home yesterday
The one whose mom is crying?
Maybe the first grader who can’t wear light up shoes
Because he might need to hide
I am not their target practice
If I don’t stand up for my rights
Who will
That’s the thing about my generation
We don’t know when to stand up
We’ve been taught to
Sit down
Be quiet
Paint yourself as the black sleep
It’s just a drill
Until it’s your child.

Thunder bangs and children cry
hiding under their covers
wishing it all away
I sit, waiting
the rain slipping through my fingers
like every moment I tried to hold on to
how many days have I lasted, to this moment when I melt away?
How long for god's angry waters to flood this world? surely I can't stay
he had faith in people, and that itself is brave
to believe in a disease
forgiving not forgetting choosing who'll come and who'll leave
I wish I could hold the water
and have it cupped in my hands
like an object that is solid, grounding me
but water's not an anchor
and my shoes fill with sand
How long will it take for the waters to rise above my head?
despite the storm all is still
why am I most content
when there is a war
raging inside of me

is it because of
of how beautiful
daylight reflects off
the leaves
or how the winds
makes the branches
dance,
i know i have
a life to create,
id just rather sit
here all day
and watch
it go by

Her

Don’t look up,
Don’t look there,
Keep your eyes closed,

...what was that sound?
that flicker–
that light–
Did I shut the door?

I can’t breathe,
I can’t see,
Is she–
Is she near?

Over there,
Over here,
Right here,
Too close,

Close your eyes,
Tighter,
Tighter,

Don’t open,
Don’t open,

Don’t
Look
Up

Intruder, intruder
Wake up, wake up
The birds are screaming the alarm.

Intruder, intruder
Wake up, wake up
The silence is growing louder,
The shadows creeping closer.

Intruder, intruder
Wake up, wake up
She’s coming, she’s coming.
Close the door,
Go,
Move,
Open your eyes, open your eyes,
Wake UP
WAKE UP

INTRUDER

I cried
But no tears fell,
Frozen by the winter air

Bound by frost
Bound by guilt
Bound by darkness

It carried a lonely chill
That settled in my bones
Forever there

Just like me in my grave
Cradled in the arms of death
Why would I want to leave?